Mind Your Heart
Welcome to "Mind Your Heart," this cozy corner of the internet where Trina Deboree and Emily Reneé —your real-life Lorelei and Rory Gilmore duo—come together each week to chat about everything from mental health to the daily nuances of life. In each episode, we peel back the layers of topics like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders with warmth, understanding, and a touch of humor (because otherwise, this just sounds depressing)!
Trina, an educator turned entrepreneur and mental health advocate, joins forces with her daughter Emily, a mental health coach and anorexia survivor, to share their journeys and insights in a way that feels like a heart-to-heart with old friends. The goal? To spark conversations that truly matter and to create a space where laughter meets healing.
Let's navigate the ups and downs of mental health together, making each day brighter and each challenge a little lighter. Grab your emotional support water bottle, put in your headphones, and join us while we mind our hearts for chats that comfort and inspire.
Mind Your Heart
An Engagement Tale of Trust and Timing
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What happens when a serendipitous Instagram comment leads to a lifelong commitment? That's exactly the journey Emily shares in this heartwarming episode of Mind Your Heart, as she reflects on her heartfelt engagement to Jake. Their love story began unexpectedly at a camp in 2018 and blossomed despite initial doubts and differing social circles. As Emily walks us through the progression of their relationship, you'll be drawn into the meaningful conversations and the challenges they faced, including the unexpected proximity that turned what could have been a long-distance romance into a thriving partnership.
As we celebrate Emily's big news, we also explore the anticipation leading up to the proposal and the crucial roles of trust and communication in their evolving relationship. Emily gives us an intimate glimpse into the planning stages and emotional complexities, sharing humorous and endearing moments that define their love. Her mother's heartfelt prayers for her happiness add another layer, reminding us of the importance of family support in finding a perfect match. Together, Emily and Jake faced uncertainties with mutual understanding, marking a new chapter in their journey.
The narrative takes a romantic turn as we tag along on their surprise engagement trip to New York City. Amidst laughter and a bit of fashion fuss, the excitement builds toward a Central Park carriage ride where Jake finally pops the question. This episode captures all the joy and unexpected turns of their love story, inviting listeners to celebrate the magic of love and the preciousness of finding someone who feels like home. Join us as we embrace the surprises life brings and follow along on social media for more heartwarming updates and engagement snapshots.
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Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your favorite corner of the internet where we chat about all things mental health. I'm Emily.
Speaker 2:And I'm Trina. Together, we're like your real-life Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Each week, we'll bring you real conversations about the world of mental health and we will peel back layers on topics like anxiety, depression and much more.
Speaker 1:We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff, the everyday stuff and everything in between. So grab your emotional support water bottle I know we have ours. Find your comfiest chair or keep your eyes on the road and let's get into it. Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Join us as we mind our hearts and hopefully make minding yours a little easier.
Speaker 1:Welcome back. Welcome back to Mind your Heart. It's been a while.
Speaker 2:It has been a while. Yeah, we did not hold up our promise. Mind your Heart Mondays, but that's okay, that's not true.
Speaker 1:We held up our promise. We just didn't. We aren't going to be, we haven't like, posted as much.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Which that doesn't mean that we didn't hold up our promise.
Speaker 2:We still posted on some Mondays and now we just took a break.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're allowed to take a break too, yep.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah. And we're and moving forward. We're going to do it every other week.
Speaker 1:We're going to do it just a little bit. Just a little bit less quantity for better quality, yeah. You don't agree with it, but I also I need time to be able to like, do all the social media stuff and I want it to be fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah so.
Speaker 1:I want to be able to take time and not have to feel rushed. I really don't want to rush this year. Yeah, like I would like to slow down, okay, so yeah, yeah well, all right.
Speaker 2:Um, so it will be every other week.
Speaker 1:Um, you just have to follow so you know when we're posting yeah, yeah, and we'll be better about putting stuff on um our instagram, um tiktok. If that exists, who knows?
Speaker 2:and yeah, if you like us, then you will comment and you will yeah and follow and share other people find it, and then we would do more. Yeah, how about that?
Speaker 1:all right. Well, I don't know when that'll be, but not yet.
Speaker 2:Okay, we just haven't even started posting every other week all right, we'll just take it as it is, and everyone can do that for themselves for 2025.
Speaker 1:So happy new year, happy new year.
Speaker 2:Well, this is an exciting episode because we have some catching up to do. We have some big, big things that have occurred in 2024 that we have to share about, and I must have lacked communication because I also wanted to include my future son-in-law, so, um, but we didn't. So it's Emily's here today, just me, just Emily, to talk about her big news.
Speaker 1:Well, emily, what is your big news? Well, I mean, you mean you already said it, but I'm engaged, jake and I are engaged. So if you're watching, then you can see. Yes. Also if you're not watching, you can follow on Instagram. I have posted plenty of ring pics and some of the pictures that we already got back from the actual engagement.
Speaker 2:All right, so let's talk about. Let's talk about the engagement, because that's what this episode is about. Um, emily's engaged and this has been. You guys have been together for five and a half years, right? Yep, yeah, five and a half years, and you met at camp, at a camp, together yeah, we met in 2018 um but we didn't talk that summer like it wasn't.
Speaker 1:We didn't really know each other in 2018, but like we knew of each other. And then, like during the year of like the rest of 2018, um, jake started like commenting on like my Instagram page and I honestly thought it was a joke. Like I thought a joke. Yeah well, jake was and always has been like one of like the cooler people, like he was in like the more popular like groups and that was just. I just never was in like the more popular like groups and that was just. I just never was like part of that and like I wouldn't consider myself like popular when I was younger or I don't think I'd ever say that that's all right okay.
Speaker 1:Um, and so when he started commenting on my Instagram, he was like he would say sup, like that was the thing, um, and I was like what is happening, like right now? Like I just thought like maybe this is like a like a carrie situation, where it's like they're just he's saying this to like rope me in and then be like ha ha, ha, gotcha. Um, I don't know, like that's just what I thought. What's a carrie situation? Like the movie carrie?
Speaker 1:like we're like a scary horror movie well, yeah, but the premise of that movie is that, like she gets voted to be like prom queen- yeah, and then they pour the blood on her yeah, yeah, but it's like to make fun of her basically. Oh well, that's sad. You thought that kind of I was like, just because I was like I don't think, like he's never shown any interest in me before but that's such a such a diabolical thing to do well, I didn't think he was gonna pour blood on me, but I didn't think that he.
Speaker 1:I thought he was like not, I thought it was like kind of a prank.
Speaker 2:Okay so jake has like I. I mean, I don't know, it wasn't at camp, but I um yeah, I before.
Speaker 1:Before I actually knew jake and who he was, he outwardly looked like a very egotistical person and I I'm shocked he also, like this, is taking a turn.
Speaker 1:I did not expect it was much different and he would agree with me. I think that he um was a lot different before we started dating and also, like, was a part of this like well, like he has a friend group and they're like kind of like have named themselves this like fraternity, sorority thing, and like that was just like more of like a little bit of a click um, which, like they would probably not love that. I said that but yeah, well, well, when you name yourself as a, yeah, but you know okay, I'm taking offense to that too, because we did that.
Speaker 2:I did that in high school. We called ourselves the fast cook of cans and yeah so, and you were a popular group of kids. Yeah but we weren't egotistical or mean to others.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I'm not saying that they were egotistical or mean to others, but like when you kind of exclude other people, then I guess that is a good way of looking at it.
Speaker 2:Um, outwardly, that's what it looks like but I mean, like currently you have a special group of women friends and you guys call yourself a name, uh, not really.
Speaker 1:We don't call ourselves a name. I thought we have a shared love of taylor swift yeah, I thought it was like the swifties or whatever.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the fandom name, yeah, but I mean, I don't know how's that different because that's a worldwide name of a fandom.
Speaker 1:We didn't name that yeah, but it doesn't seem somewhat the same I mean, I, I guess, but also like we're no, because it's a different concept. Okay, but yeah all right.
Speaker 2:So he seemed like yeah, he seemed like he would be playing a prank on but also like this group of people, like I love them like yeah, they're. I'm not like yeah, the guys about them, yeah, like they're young and they were in college, yeah, and I was also young, yeah, and like I didn't know any better.
Speaker 1:Also like I was 18, right, yeah, well, it was 18, 18 summer of 2018, um. And then I turned 19 and that's when we really started like actually talking. Like he started texting me, well, because he commented his phone number on my page and I was like what? Like I felt so shocked because I was like he commented my page is public and always has been public, so he put his phone number out there yeah, so I'm like you're putting your real phone number like on the internet, um so we started with the smooth sup now I get the sup reference.
Speaker 2:I've seen it for so many years and I've always been like what is that?
Speaker 1:yeah, because it was like that was the thing he commented and or he would like do little.
Speaker 2:See, this is where I need him I need him here because I need to know was like, where was that coming from? Was he like a little shy? And so it was just kind of like because that's how I see him, egotistical and whatever it is he, he just like also was is very confident in like himself.
Speaker 1:So, like at the time, like I was not confident in myself. So to me, like that looked different than like how I can view it now in a healthy aspect. Yeah, because, like the way that I viewed all of this was not how it was, like my perspective was from an unhealthy point of view, from unhealthy experiences. So like even like me talking about his friend group, like having a name and like being this, like like I'm like that, I looked at that in an unhealthy way. So like my perspective, I'm not saying that in an unhealthy way. So like my perspective, I'm not saying that they are a toxic clicky group. They're all wonderful people who I love.
Speaker 1:They'll all be, invited to our wedding? Yeah, but, um, at the time, my unhealthy view of popularity and friendships well, you have been very burned and hurt in that way. Yeah, and also like camp culture is like a completely different world, yeah, like it just is something that you can't explain no, I, I, I've been in.
Speaker 2:I've been to camp, yeah, and it was a church camp and it was like two of my favorite summers of my life yeah, it's wonderful, but it's so different.
Speaker 1:It's a whole nother world. You're in a bubble. Yeah, it's very inclusive.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and loving and kind, and it doesn't matter what your social status is. Yeah, you're all included and it's fun.
Speaker 1:And but when you come from, not that it's very confusing and then you. It's almost like like I was probably like excluding myself to a degree of being like, oh well, I'm not worthy to be in this or that yeah.
Speaker 2:So, like all of these things that I felt like are not true about these people, like they were what I was making true because of how I felt about myself yeah um, that's probably why that I felt a little defensive when you first said that, because um, I wasn't explaining it very well, yeah well also, I I realized like where the triggering was, because it it's like assuming that everyone that was in, like the popular or cool group or whatever it was like a jerk yeah and um, I worked really hard to be nice to everyone yeah so I guess I immediately felt defensive of that because I'm like wait a minute, that's not true. Like I had friends that weren't and I didn't hang out with but that I was like really kind and nice to, and you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:But I understand. But also when you're teenagers, there's always some kind of whatever. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And as I have grown and been in different circles in the world and have felt left out before like I, have experienced those feelings. It is hurtful. It's a hurtful feeling and I think when it happens to you as a teenager, as an adult I'm like, eh, whatever, but as a teenager it's like when you're forming it's a formation of your person, because you're also learning how to communicate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a much harder experience and, honestly, your generation this is something else to consider With the whole social media, I would have died if this was my reality as a teenager. I would not have survived, and I'm not saying that dramatically Like I actually really would have been concerned for my teenage self, my mental health, having lived through what you guys have lived through. Yeah, I, I mean, I've joked before to people in my generation about how there's, there's, no, there's no way. I just wouldn't have survived knowing that people were doing this without me or doing that. That would have been so hurtful, like things that that are minor but feel so major because of social media. Yeah, this is a whole nother subject that we could do a podcast episode on. Yeah, so let's get back to the point, yeah, but okay, so you, so you weren't expecting the.
Speaker 1:The bottom line is you weren't expecting this from jake, so it's like slowly easing in, and I also like 2018 was like caught up on another person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like.
Speaker 1:Jake and I, because we didn't know each other, like we didn't talk. And so then 2019, summer of 2019, we had been talking but he had initially like ended us talking Because I had told him in the beginning. I was like I'm not playing games, like I, if I was gonna date someone, like I was 19 and I had never had a boyfriend. So I was like, if we're gonna date, like it's serious to me yeah so I'm like don't mess with my heart.
Speaker 1:Basically like, if you're at any point, if you're not feeling it like, just tell me and that's okay, like I'll. If I'm sad, I'm sad, but like you do you and so and this was at a point where his parents were like in the thick of getting a divorce, so there was a lot of things that he was emotionally dealing with, um, and he was like I just can't give you the attention right now and I was like okay, and then and you were doing your own healing from your own family divorce.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so yeah, and then we went, we showed up at camp and we started like talking in person and it was just like easy. We like the first time we ever like really had a full conversation, I think we talked for like a couple of hours, like we just walked in a circle at night at camp and just like talked about like not surface level stuff, like we talked about our family trauma.
Speaker 2:Like we talked about like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:And it was like we have so many similarities in things that we've experienced that it was like refreshing and like just instantly comfortable.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And after that we just kept hanging out Like we just were around each other all the time and and I also at this point I thought I was moving to New York. This was when I was like I had a roommate lined up, I knew where I was going to live. I was going to be a barista at a coffee place until I could find a job. I was moving to New York at this point and I had told him I don't know how to do long distance like that seems like a lot, especially for a first boyfriend yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And he initially he was like well, what if we were dating, like, would that make you feel like better about it, or whatever, because at this point we weren't officially like boyfriend and girlfriend. This is after camp. No, this was during camp. Okay, he asks me this and this was apparently his way of asking me to be his girlfriend.
Speaker 1:That I didn't understand and I'm like I mean, I guess that would help, but like I don't know, like, and then the next day he was like you never really answered my question. I was like, what question? And he's like will you be my girlfriend? And I was like, oh yeah, like, of course.
Speaker 2:But I didn't know that. That's what he was asking me, that go to sleep thinking oh, I don't know well it well, because he it wasn't like.
Speaker 1:He said will you be my girlfriend? It was like we were talking about something. He was like well, would it help, would it reassure you if we were dating? And that doesn't to me, does not seem like asking me to be his girlfriend. Yeah so um, but he would claim something different so um, yeah, and then from then on, like we were always together in love yeah, I know, I fell in love with him very fast yeah, you did, you fell in love with him very fast.
Speaker 2:I remember which is easy in camp because you're together.
Speaker 1:You basically live together for the first beginning part of your relationship. So like you skip a lot of the like awkward stage.
Speaker 2:It's like an intensified experience, like a it's like the bachelor. Yeah, a sped up, yeah, um experience, yeah yeah, and then when you guys came back, did he go back to college, like I don't, so he was getting his associates at HTC. Okay.
Speaker 1:So he was doing like online stuff and he only had like a couple in-person classes, but they were in Tampa, okay, and we didn't know that, like he lived in Brandon and I lived in Parrish, so we were only like 40 minutes away from each other and like had always been.
Speaker 2:And like most of that's unusual, like for, like, camp yeah, because usually they're all over the place, yeah.
Speaker 1:So it was like wait a minute, like we're actually like within driving distance of each other, like this will be not as hard as we think that it will be. So yeah, and then like, and then basically he stayed with you and I, yeah, like, and I would stay sometimes over at his dad's house, but it was yeah.
Speaker 2:He kind of moved in. Yeah, he moved in like after a little bit like going back and forth. It was a good, it was good timing for him to to do that anyway, because of everything that was going on at home for him. Yeah, so um it was.
Speaker 1:I feel like it was good, like nothing about that. I mean like towards the end it was definitely like we were all crowded oh yeah, but we were crowded it was also like I don't ever feel like it was like a bad situation, like no, no no, I don't mean like yeah no, no no, I know chaos going on at his house.
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it was like I just think of the end of a marriage.
Speaker 2:It's hard for everyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure, and it he was in the house that like he had grown up in with his parents. So um it was. It was just like the timing was how it was supposed to be yeah so yeah, that's how we met and started dating, but yeah, okay, so fast forward.
Speaker 2:So we, we, you go through, you live together and you move in together and like in your first apartment yeah, and then you move 2021, 2021. And then you move here and then, um, you're just going along with life and then you're wondering when, when, when is Jake?
Speaker 1:Well, so I'm going to propose, but I did know we had talked about it. I don't mean just you.
Speaker 2:I was also wondering the same thing I had to calm myself down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, more than once.
Speaker 2:I did, though I did calm down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, after a couple of conversations, yeah, of I did calm down. Yeah, after a couple of conversations, yeah, of uncalmness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I was worried. I was like, oh goodness, she's going to get her heart broken and I was scared.
Speaker 1:I was never worried about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when you finally like I finally got the message, I was like, okay, she's not worried about this. I trust you and your feelings, yeah okay, she's not worried about this. I trust you and your feelings, yeah, and I'm gonna. That is interesting to know though, because at the time I was like why is she like? I wasn't trying to rush you, I had. No, that was not. It was very confusing because I don't think you even knew.
Speaker 1:It was because you were afraid I was gonna get hurt no, I knew.
Speaker 2:Oh really, yeah, I just I wasn't you didn't say that I was.
Speaker 1:I know I didn't vocalize it, but I mean, I would have been able to tell you like that's not, yeah, the case. Also, if I did, then I did.
Speaker 2:As soon as you did tell me that though as soon as I heard it, understood it I, like I said, I trusted you, so I didn't know, maybe I didn't realize that I was scared for your heart. Like I was so scared for your heart and I'm like but that's part of life I can't protect you from everything anyway, and if you're supposed to go through heartbreak, then I'll just be here if you are, and if not, then I'll be here too.
Speaker 1:So when I finally got that message but you're right- it did take me a little while because, again, because I was scared and like me and my responses and fear, but also like the worst, you also love Jake.
Speaker 2:I love Jake so like it would have not only been heartbreak for me, like it would have been heartbreak for our whole family like because everybody loves him yeah, so it's not like it would have just been like the greatest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it would have been hard for everyone if that did happen For sure.
Speaker 2:And also you're right, and I get very attached, and when I get attached I have a really hard time letting go, which is can be suffocating sometimes to people, or at least it seems as if it has been in the past.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, so I, it seems as if it has been in the past. But, um, yeah, so I didn't want to imagine that makes me upset. I didn't want to imagine him not being there like he feels, has felt like family for so long. Yeah, I mean he honestly is. I mean I told him this. Okay, so let's back up. So before you guys got engaged, he, he came like I found out that he was going to ask you and I did not tell you, even though everyone thought I would and even he didn't know that. I knew, I knew for a long time and I was like he didn't know that you knew no, he didn't know that.
Speaker 2:I knew he didn't. This is before he came to me he didn't know that. I knew, um, and when he asked to come meet me, meet with me, I was like this, is it he's gonna, he's gonna talk about it. Because I was like why hasn't he asked to come meet with me? I was like this, is it, he's going to talk about it? Because I was like why hasn't he come to me? He hasn't come, he hasn't. Why do other people know and I don't know? And at first I was upset.
Speaker 1:Who are the other?
Speaker 2:people Just like Nanny and Steve, nanny and Steve and at first I was upset, I was upset and then I was like, well, that's ridiculous, I'm like it doesn't matter, it's a, it is whatever it needs to be, it'll be. And also, neither one of them trust me to keep the secret because I told you, because I honestly was like he hasn't come to me, I can say that and I go. This has also given me the opportunity to tell the truth.
Speaker 2:Yeah like I and I could promise. I promised you he hasn't come to me. Yeah, and even though I knew he was gonna ask me, I was like and I go. And she is going to think that I wouldn't be able to keep a secret, but I can keep a secret.
Speaker 1:Well, because sometimes you can't.
Speaker 2:With you. I guess it is harder. I can keep a secret.
Speaker 1:Because I feel like every Christmas somehow I know you tell me what you're getting me at some point.
Speaker 2:I don't like to keep things from you. I know, but when they're necessary to keep from you I can. So now you know, yeah, so anyway. So when he was coming to talk to me, I was I'm like I'm going to write him a letter Because I want him to know how much he means to me and how excited I am about this. Oh means to me and how excited I am about this, oh and um.
Speaker 2:And so then he came and I swear we were like two fumbling imbeciles like we were both like so nervous, yeah, and um kind of shaky.
Speaker 1:I watched the video you did, oh yeah and so I haven't seen the video it's funny because it's like you're neither of. You are uncomfortable in front of each other ever, ever yeah, but in that video. I'm like did you just meet? Yeah, it seems like it doesn't it.
Speaker 2:I'm not surprised, because at one point he's like I'm like I'm in my workout clothes and he's like you want to change? And I kind of hesitate and I'm like, do I want to change? And then I'm like, no, we just need to get this on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go over this, over with, because I can't take it anymore. I'm like bursting. I felt like I was bursting and then so he said, I told well, one thing I said to him was that and I remember this vividly like praying over you as a baby and asking God, because I really felt like and it makes me so sad that it didn't end up being that way but I was like I really want to give this baby, like I want her to see love, I want her to see what love is and I want to give her an example of pure love.
Speaker 1:and, um, because I, I loved your dad, yeah, and so I was like I I really want, and then I like gave you the opposite, but I, but I did pray that's not fair to say, because you didn't give me the opposite, like just because, like there were things that were unhealthy and whatever, like doesn't mean that like like you loved hard, like that was never like a question to me, so like I don't think that that's not something that you gave me, like you like also showed unconditional love to everyone around you, even to dad, when he would sometimes didn't deserve it, which is what unconditional love would be. So I don't think I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit for that, okay.
Speaker 2:Well, I did pray for you that you would that the person that God put in your life, that they would be, you know, a man that adored you and respected you and boosted you up and supported you, and that you loved and that you were friends and that you, that that each other were the most important and, um, and I prayed for this kind of love kind of one. But I didn't know. And, and jake, and there's Jake, yeah, and God, and God gave us Jake. And so it felt like I remember telling my brother and he, and he's like he's like, how do you feel? I'm like I couldn't have picked a better person for her. I couldn't have. Like, if I had searched far and wide, I couldn't have picked a better person. And so he just felt like such a gift, he feels like such a gift. So when he told I don't even remember what he said to me, I need to watch the video because I couldn't remember All I could think of was I'm so happy for them and that what a beautiful gift that you two are.
Speaker 2:And I just couldn't even hear, barely hear him. I just remember him saying about you being his best friend and how much he loved you and adored you and all these wonderful things about you, and I was like this is, this, is so exciting. And then he asked for my blessing and I gave it to him. And then I read him a two-page letter, poor jake and um well, you both read something to each other yeah he read something to me, I read something to him and, um, we like hugged and we were so excited.
Speaker 2:And then it was like excitement, like it was like yeah I want to see the ring. You want to um know this one of that it was like, like secret little texts and then it was just so, and then even in the airport.
Speaker 2:So we go to new york, we're going to new york and that's where he's going to ask her in new york and he's gonna. He tells us about your, his plan, about how he's gonna um take you to central park in the morning, and we're like what, she's not gonna get up at seven o'clock in the morning, everybody like had zero faith in me, which, honestly, I was like okay, guys, like I have woken up early in my lifetime.
Speaker 2:Multiple times I used to have a job it's not a regular thing you enjoy, so I don't enjoy it I do not like waking up early, but I have done it and I still do it. You're capable of getting up, but we didn't give you enough credit. You're right. So we thought you were going to be grouchy about it because you it was a day off, it was like a break.
Speaker 1:He literally told me about this. Like that we were waking up early, like before we even went on the trip and he was like is that going to be okay? And I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:That was my initial response he's going to take you on a care. He told you he's going to take you on a carriage ride, which I have to. When we get to that part, I have to tell, because that's hilarious and um and and that you guys were gonna have like a day by yourself, which is what kind of you only had like a little while by yourself, and then it was a mob of family.
Speaker 2:But um, but when you were in the bathroom, when we were in the airport, he's like, do you want to see the ring? And he pulls out the ring and and like I'm getting on the floor, I'm like kneeling on the ground and we're like looking at the ring and I'm thinking, if she comes back, like what are we gonna do?
Speaker 1:and it was so.
Speaker 2:It was so like we all were so excited, like the excitement on the way. There is something I will never forget because it was like the anticipation. And then I was just watching the two of you and also jake this is supposed to be me asking you about the engagement and I know I'm sharing my experience.
Speaker 2:Okay, um because I it's like jake grew up before my eyes on that trip. Like I already thought he was just wonderful, but I think I thought of him more as like you guys, as like adults. But we were boyfriend and girlfriend yeah, boyfriend and girlfriend. And then I just watched him like take charge and lead the way and manipulate the subway and get us where we needed to be and make sure we're OK, both of us, like obviously you was not a question, but he was even that way to me, which I felt, which has always been so great about him, because he has never made me, he's never made me feel shut out. Yeah, he's embraced me, me as a family member too.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's really special. Yeah, and I told his mom I'm like what a great man he is, yeah, and she's like I knew he was going to be a good boyfriend and she was so cute about her baby son and it was like, oh, I think that is so cool. Yeah, and he is such a good, he's such a good man.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to see him be a dad. Oh, me too, I like I'm gonna melt into a puddle all right.
Speaker 2:So that's my experience.
Speaker 1:Let's hear about yours um, well, I had, like we had talked about the fact that we were going to be engaged in 2024, so, like that was not a surprise, um, but I had no idea that it was going to happen. When we were in new york, um, jake had like elaborately planned out multiple lies to tell me, so that way it would like steer me off the path. Um, like he had told me. He was like, so, after Christmas, like we're gonna go like on this like little, like half anniversary trip, because when we first started dating, we did we celebrated every six months, excuse me.
Speaker 1:And um, um, and on December 26th 2019, he gave me a promise ring. And so I'm like, oh, like he's definitely that's going to be a full circle moment, like it's, he's going to do it then. And then he was like we're going to go to Georgia and that was our first road trip. And I was like, okay, like he's probably going to take me, me, to providence canyon, which is where we first went. Like I'm like in my head, like that's definitely it. Um, and so, like he had for sure steered me that way and the whole point of the trip, um, for new york, was to see the rockets. At least that's what I thought. Yeah and um, which we still did do that.
Speaker 1:That was not a lie so yeah, that was all true yeah, that was true, um, but then, yeah, and then he was like we're gonna go on a carriage ride in central park and I was like, oh, that's gonna be so fun.
Speaker 1:And the night before, and so we're in new york and it's cold like it's very cold um, and the day of the actual engagement, like it was like the feel like was like in the teens, so, um, and it was like I think in the 20s or something. Um, and so the night before I knew it was going to be cold and I was like maybe I'll just like wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt. And he was like no, and I was like what do you mean? No, like I'm like I want to be comfortable, like we're gonna be sitting like a blanket will be covering most of my body like, and he was like.
Speaker 2:I don't think you should wear that, and he never. This is not how he ever acts. No, this is not the kind of man he is.
Speaker 1:No, and so I was like what? I was like what do you mean? Was like well, that's not really a fit. And I was like, excuse me, I was like what do you mean? It's not a fit. I wear this on the regular. Are you saying that I just look like a slob when I wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt? And in my head I'm like you wear that all the time, like you're calling yourself unstyled. And so I was like getting irritated and he was like well, no, no, like when we were packing, like you showed me a specific outfit and so I like matched that vibe and I was like, oh, okay, and then it was recovered yeah, he was, and thank goodness that was fast thinking yeah, yeah, and um, which is true, which is true, I did show him an outfit that I was going to wear, and so, but initially I was like that was so strange.
Speaker 1:And then that night too I don't remember what it was but he had like lied about something very small, like it was like the smallest thing, and I was like why did you just lie to me? That was so like weird. Like you don't, we don't do this. Like you don't we tell each other everything? Like yeah, we don't lie. Like what is this? And we like I like basically like therapized him. I'm like why do you think that this is happening? Like we like actually had a conversation about it and um, because I was like bothered, like I'm like why are you? Because it so a different situation had come up previously, that he had like also like not told me the truth about something, and I was upset. Later I come to find out that he's been having to keep all these things.
Speaker 1:So he's had to think on his feet for months and months. And so like his brain has been getting used to like, not like having to not tell the truth about some things. So it made sense. But I I could tell in that moment he was like I don't know what to say here like yeah yeah, because it was like why did I lie?
Speaker 1:like it's just become a habit because, I've had to not tell you things for so long um, and then the next morning, like we get up and our hotel room was very small, like it was like a bed and a bathroom and like that was really it. And so Jake had told me later he was like you kept like I didn't really want to put on a whole lot of makeup, like I was like I'm going to get, like it was early, we had to wake up early, so I was like I'm'm just gonna do minimal, like getting ready or whatever. And he, he kept being like are you gonna like go in the bathroom? And I was like uh, I guess like yeah, and later he told me he was like I just needed to put the ring box like in my coat, but like our room was there was no place to do that without me seeing unless I was in the bathroom with the door closed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, and so he kept asking me like are you gonna like do your hair? And I'm like what, like? What are you saying to me right now? Like this is so weird. But in my head, like I wasn't really thinking anything of it, I was just kind of like he's distracted about something yeah I was just like do to do whatever, um.
Speaker 1:And and then he was like, well, let's take a picture before we walk out, and I was like, okay, and normally he's not, yeah, like he doesn't do that, um. But again I found out that was because he was sending it to the photographers so that they knew what we were wearing, yeah. And like the whole ride over because we took a lift to Central Park. It was a very quiet car ride Because poor Jake, like he was, like I was dying, Like.
Speaker 1:I felt like it was like right, like it was so close, but get so far yeah, and because the anticipation he had this plan and he had it all planned out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so elaborately, yeah he was gonna have a photographer there a videographer yep, and he had this whole thing planned out specifically in central park, specifically at this time, because it's not busy. Yeah, in central park at 7 30 in the morning yeah and and so, like the night before, he was afraid that someone was gonna slip because everybody like we. We that's when we went and had do we have ice cream? No, it was like that ice cream shop. What did we?
Speaker 1:have cheesecake.
Speaker 2:Oh, cheesecake, yeah yeah, yeah and um, a little cafe and everyone felt sentimental. No one wanted you guys to leave. We were all like watching, yeah, and you like hugged me really long yeah Before Because. I'm like she's going to be engaged, when I see her again.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:Nanny almost blurts, like was, and Steve Like these their eyes were welling up. And Jake's like we got to get out of here. So it was so, but I had no idea. You had no idea and we and like watching you guys. Knowing that that was coming was just. It was such a cool experience it was like being able to, it was like being out like on a fishbowl, like yeah, like watching yeah, and when we went, skating in central park.
Speaker 2:I I just like just watching the two of you and it was so, so beautiful. It's just so sweet and so pure. And and I also got to experience that when you guys did live with me yeah, there was a time where I was like I feel like I'm invading their space, like I tried to make a second living room in Jackson's room, and then Jackson thankfully came back and I was like, well, I think the time's up yeah, yeah it's too crowded and um and so, but it was, it's been a beautiful thing to watch and so, knowing that was coming, I think he's probably just ready to explode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no wonder he didn't talk.
Speaker 1:So you get there but I didn't think anything of that because I'm like I don't like to talk in the morning yeah so I was like, oh, he's just giving me like white time in this, like lift ride, and so you get a central park. We get there and we're walking the funniest part we're walking to and in my head this whole time like we're gonna go on a carriage ride yeah, um, and so he's like guiding me, but he keeps walking like in front of me and I'm like what are you doing?
Speaker 1:like why are you not walking next to me? And um, and he's like, oh sorry, but it's like because he had miked himself up so that way we could listen back to what he said. So like he's like I can't pull out my phone like in front of you, but he also had to like pull up the maps to see where we were going to, the specific location, and so we get it's Bethesda Fountain and Terrace is what it was called. And so like you walk down a few steps and there's like a lake, and then like behind it it's like this, like there's a bridge, but like under the bridge there's like these arches and stuff, and we walk down and the lake is like completely frozen over and like this is something I have not seen. Like I'm Florida born and raised, so like I was like, oh my God, yeah the lake.
Speaker 2:Look at the lake it's frozen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, look at solid ice Like. I was like we need to throw something on it. And he was like okay, but I just thought it was so cool, so I was like whatever. And then we're like walking around. I was like I don't think a carriage is gonna come down these steps you you, you did, you were, you were still like. Well, he said so well, and then we walked over and I was like, baby, I don't think we're in the right place.
Speaker 2:And he was like well, let's just keep walking the first time you took one step down is when you should have been like there's no way.
Speaker 1:I thought we were walking through like I was like I don't know where we're going yeah um and and then, because then he stopped walking. And then I was like I think you should call yeah, and he was like no, and I was like yeah, yeah, you should call. Like clearly I don't see any carriage around here he also described that the carriage was going to be like with two horses and like be this like big, whatever thing which like zero carriages in new york had two horses like so it was like he had made up this thing that really did not exist that's the princess.
Speaker 1:And then he kind of like moves me over to like the center of like this circle that's on the ground and like grabs like both my hands, and he was like so you know, I love you and you're my best friend. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, like this is happening like right now. Like, oh my god, oh my god, like this is happening like right now, like, and I like it was like it instantly. I was like holy shit, like and um, I don't remember what he said after that, but I like I was just like shaking and then he proposed and I was like yes, yes, yes, and I feel like I was like crying without tears coming out Because, like it was like all these emotions like at once. And then, like I realized that the only other two humans that were in that area were a photographer and videographer. And then they introduced themselves and they were amazing and we like walked through Central Park and like took pictures like on the subway, and it was like the pictures are so beautiful.
Speaker 2:They're so good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're so good and we only got like the selects back, which there was like 54 of them, which I was like I thought that would be all of them. Yeah, but we get all of them back. The video on valentine's day valentine's yeah so, and then after that I'm like calling everybody, like all my friends and and we're all dying, like we're all texting each other.
Speaker 2:Have you heard anything yet? No, have you heard anything yet I don't know. I'm thinking I'm gonna sleep in because I'm like I knew what we were meeting you for lunch, yeah, and which you didn't know which I didn't't know. Yeah, and then and that Carrie was coming and Jake's sister and Jake's grandma and grandpa like his family was coming, so that was very exciting and Carrie and I had been texting like like a few weeks before that.
Speaker 2:And she's like our baby's getting or getting married. And I'm like Carrie because we had never texted before. I'm like I don't think this is Tony, I'm pretty sure this is Carrie. And then we were just so excited and then um, and then so we were and I was like I'm gonna sleep in, then I'll see him at lunch. And then Steve and Nanny are like oh no, you need to be ready, you need to be. I don't like I need to be ready.
Speaker 1:I, I was gonna sleep in, I have to wake up like and so then I couldn't be ready.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't have to be ready. This got me. It got in my head and I listened, and then I was like I don't know what to do. I don't know, I don't, I don't know what I should do.
Speaker 1:I didn't call anybody like instantly, like we like yeah, you did pictures and stuff, yeah, yeah because I was also like okay, like this is also a moment where like, yeah, for this short amount of time, like only the two of us, and then obviously the photographer and videographer like, but only the two of us, and then obviously the photographer and videographer like, but only the two of us know, yeah, about this yeah and like that's never gonna happen again yeah and so I was like, because I did say, after he proposed, I was like I should call my mom and he was like well, why don't we wait until we like get on somebody?
Speaker 1:and I was like, okay, and then I did wait and you were the first person that I called and then, um, I called like my friends and stuff, and then, like he had told me that we were going somewhere for brunch and I was like, oh great, but you came to the hotel first, because we remember you guys came back to the hotel, and then you and I were screaming in the hallway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then we went into my room and you were guys were telling me about it and I was like sobbing yeah and um, and then you got it was like so exciting, but I wasn't like I wasn't sure if you knew where I was gonna see you at lunch. And so I'm like sitting there and I'm like I gotta go and and I'm like trying not to say anything, I'm looking at jake and I'm like what are you guys doing now? And you're like, oh, I don't know. And I was like, okay, they don't know, yeah so then I was like all right, see you later.
Speaker 2:And off I went and I was like hurrying out to the restaurant and luckily, like he like distracted you for a little bit, and then you guys, so we were all there and nanny had it all set up it looked so cute yeah, she had these little napkins and little bags and yeah it was very cute.
Speaker 2:And then I I met jake's family and we were all so like, oh, we're all so excited. So we're like sitting there and this beautiful, the room was beautiful, with that huge, beautiful tree, that was really pretty, yeah. And then, um, it had these stairs. And then I see you guys, and I can clearly see you, and I see jake and I we make eye contact and I'm like, oh no, you are like do do, do well, because I had, because I'm thinking we're walking into a restaurant, the two of us I'm not looking for anyone, so I'm like not like it literally came all the way down the stairs and then I looked and I was like holy shit, there's everybody's here your face.
Speaker 2:It was like it, like the recognition and then the oh, because then it was like boom boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like all these people it was like it, like the recognition and then the oh, and then it was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Speaker 1:Like all these people, I was like wait, my mom, his mom, sister, pappy grammy, oh, like yeah, and you cried and it was so adorable.
Speaker 2:That moment was adorable. I wish I had videotaped that. Yeah, because that realization was so cute. And then, like as soon as everybody hugged and calmed down, you're like what, where's Daisy?
Speaker 1:Well, because to me Daisy was staying with Jake's mom and clearly Jake's mom was in New York and then normally our backup for Jake's mom is Marissa.
Speaker 2:And Marissa was also there.
Speaker 1:And I was like where's my dog? Which?
Speaker 2:was a lot of effort for marissa, because she was only there for that, and then she had to leave she had her suitcase. We're dragging her suitcase through new york yeah that was, that was your poor jake's cousin was dragging her suitcase through new york. And then we, and then we walked like we ate, and then we went and like go see the tree in rockefeller center, and we were like a train, a family train, like walking down the streets in new york.
Speaker 2:That was so funny jonathan, like has grammy yeah like yeah, and it was just like a train of people and then, yeah, that was just I don't know. I remember thinking this is so surreal, like that's what.
Speaker 1:I remember thinking, yeah and um, yeah, it was what a beautiful experience yeah, it was all so like perfectly planned out, which does not surprise me, because no, because jake is a good planner, yeah, and he pays really close attention to details. Yes, which is yeah, which is key, yeah he was like after that, poor guy, he was so tired when we got home he was like I need a freaking break.
Speaker 2:He didn't even give his normal christmas list, so it was like really hard to know what to get him for christmas this year for the first time ever, yeah, and so um but I did.
Speaker 1:I said I mean I just got wrong on sizes, but I have, I actually guessed a lot of the things that he wanted he ended up putting them on his list after I got some of the things and I was like, all right, well, nobody else get this because I already purchased it. But um, yeah, he was like. He was like it was so weird like not telling you stuff for so long yeah, because it's just like not how, because that's emotionally exhausting, yeah because it's effort to not tell each other something because it's our, in our normal routine, like it's like what'd you do today, like very good communication, yeah
Speaker 1:so, uh, he, and then there would be some days like where he. There was one day when he booked um, the the. So the photography group deconi is like the name of, like the group, but um jay deconi. Um, she's like the main photographer um, but randy and um kyle were those were the two people that we met in new york. But, um, when he booked jay for the engagement shoot, which, like, obviously I didn't know who he had booked, but he came home and he was like I just found out something really exciting and I cannot tell you what it is or anything about it, but I need you to like jump around and scream and be excited with me and I was like okay yeah, and so he like grabbed me, he's like, and I was like, yeah, like, and I have no idea what we're celebrating and later he's like.
Speaker 1:That was when, like, I got back with Jay and she was like, yeah, like, we did it, and then nanny had said, like she would help and he booked it, and so yeah that's awesome. He was like so excited about that, and so I love that.
Speaker 2:I love that there's so much trust that you didn't like force him to tell you what it was. Yeah, like that, you're just that you could be happy. Excited for him because he was happy and excited. Yeah, that's so cute and yeah, what a, what a, what a great story. I think we'll stop here because this is a long one, and then we will um have another episode where we hear about some wedding plans.
Speaker 1:Yeah okay, yeah, so that's the story, the end. Well, not the end, the beginning, the beginning. Yep, yeah, so we will see you guys in a couple weeks. Yeah, subscribe to our YouTube channel, follow us or turn on notifications wherever you listen to your podcasts. So if you listen on Spotify, follow us on there Apple, apple, yeah, all the things.
Speaker 1:Um. So if you listen on spotify, follow us on there. Apple, yeah, all the things. Um. And then for updates on instagram mind your heart pod is our username, but you can also follow either of our accounts, which are linked below in the description um, and there's stuff that will be like cross posting for that too. So, but everything you can find us, mind your heart pod. Um, so, yeah, thank you for listening. Um, all right, that's it, bye.
