Mind Your Heart
Welcome to "Mind Your Heart," this cozy corner of the internet where Trina Deboree and Emily Reneé —your real-life Lorelei and Rory Gilmore duo—come together each week to chat about everything from mental health to the daily nuances of life. In each episode, we peel back the layers of topics like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders with warmth, understanding, and a touch of humor (because otherwise, this just sounds depressing)!
Trina, an educator turned entrepreneur and mental health advocate, joins forces with her daughter Emily, a mental health coach and anorexia survivor, to share their journeys and insights in a way that feels like a heart-to-heart with old friends. The goal? To spark conversations that truly matter and to create a space where laughter meets healing.
Let's navigate the ups and downs of mental health together, making each day brighter and each challenge a little lighter. Grab your emotional support water bottle, put in your headphones, and join us while we mind our hearts for chats that comfort and inspire.
Mind Your Heart
The Delicate Art of Building Lasting Bonds
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Imagine trying to inspire a love of reading in children without the stress of timed tests—Emily has cracked the code with her latest workshop, "For the Love of Reading." Meanwhile, Trina is figuring out the ups and downs of daily live broadcasting for her new YouTube show. We also share personal tidbits like Trina's rare second date, letting you in on our friendship journey and all its whimsical moments. Ever tried dressing up in Christmas outfits just for fun? We have, and those memories are a testament to the bonds that have grown stronger over time.
Friendship isn't always easy, especially as we transition from high school to adulthood. We reflect on how the pandemic has changed our social dynamics and comfort zones, making it tricky to forge new connections, especially when many of us work from home. Despite these challenges, friendships of all types—whether ride-or-die buddies or those friends you only see occasionally—bring a richness to our lives that nothing else can match. We've learned firsthand that it's crucial to step out of our comfort zones, even if it means embracing solitude, to nurture these bonds.
In our quest for meaningful human connections, we've discovered the importance of having a diverse support system. The pressure of expecting one best friend to meet all our emotional needs is something we've learned to move past. Instead, we cherish the different roles our friends play, from virtual interactions to face-to-face connections that foster genuine community. Whether it's a church conference that moves us or a funny moment involving a mix-up with "carnation" and "cardinal," these experiences remind us of the irreplaceable value of human presence in our lives. Join us as we share stories, insights, and laughter, celebrating the friendships that make life truly fulfilling.
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Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your favorite corner of the internet where we chat about all things mental health. I'm Emily.
Speaker 2:And I'm Trina. Together, we're like your real-life Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Each week, we'll bring you real conversations about the world of mental health and we will peel back layers on topics like anxiety, depression and much more.
Speaker 1:We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff, the everyday stuff and everything in between. So grab your emotional support water bottle I know we have ours. Find your comfiest chair or keep your eyes on the road and let's get into it. Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Join us as we mind our hearts and hopefully make minding yours a little easier.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to Mind your Heart. Welcome back. I'm Emily, I'm Trina, nice to see you. How are you doing? All right, so today? Oh, not how you're doing, you're doing nothing.
Speaker 2:I'm doing good, yeah, all right. Yeah, I'm doing good, yeah, all right. Yeah, I'm doing all right. How about you?
Speaker 1:It was like such a high-pitched like I'm doing okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess I'm doing all right. I mean, the things have been exciting, yeah, with you, so that's been really fun. Yeah, I mean I've been working like crazy yeah when this comes out, I'll be about to launch my workshop for the love of reading. Why?
Speaker 2:don't you talk about that um, at least just tell us what it is.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's a workshop for parents or caregivers or even teachers who care deeply about their child's feelings about reading and they want their kids to love reading and they know the value of what that means and they are trying to figure out how to help them love it, and so I am offering a workshop.
Speaker 2:So I am offering a workshop. It's like around an hour and we'll talk about things, you know, quick tips, things that we can do, even though we have a very you know, someone has a very busy schedule making a reading identity. We'll also be talking about things that are getting in the way of kids loving to read, because there's a lot of things and, yeah, and I'll offer a q a and then they also get like a comprehensive notes and they have I'll be providing, uh, top recommendations of books per age. Cool, yeah, that's a little bonus, and so it's gonna I'm very excited about it because I think it's I think it's gonna really help parents that are looking to, you know, help their child yeah and inspiring a love of reading has always been a massive passion of mine.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I'm excited yeah, I have another youtube show that I started.
Speaker 2:I started in January with a live challenge of going live every day. That's hard, that's hard. I think it's okay Monday through Friday, but Saturday and Sunday are really hard and I actually picked a super difficult topic for we're recording today, on a Saturday, and I had a hard topic on this recording day that I was like, oh, I'm way too tired to talk about the bad thing that comes when people time reading um and so I was like oh, this is a.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know people did that timed yeah, you never had to read with a timer so that they could count how many words per minute, or like timed reading tests, that's I mean that was a problem for you and with the sats. That's part of the reason why it makes me so angry yeah, I just, I guess I block it out yeah, I mean it is a, because I just was like why are you timing me?
Speaker 2:you probably didn't notice. Yeah, people, I mean I kept it pretty like on the down low because I didn't want kids to feel like I was timing them but, it was something, a data point that we had to take as a teacher, but parents don't have to do that. Yeah and um, and sometimes I've noticed in the homeschooled world a lot of people aren't sure exactly what to do, so they end up doing some of the things the crappy things that they didn't want to do in the school system and um.
Speaker 2:So I think it's important to to find things that align with what you believe and because you, you know, most people didn't send their child to the school system for a reason, yeah, so, um, and I hate that teachers have to do things like. I mean, mean, I hated doing that Because, first of all, it was like who cares? And everybody was really concerned about reading, or fluency, or reading words, how fast you were reading, impacting your comprehension. Yeah, and they're like, if you can't read fast, you're not comprehending. Well, that's ridiculous. Yeah, and it didn't always, and I won't go on that because that's a whole, like a separate subject, but it just, yeah, so it's stressful for kids to be timed like it's not for anyone to be timed on anything yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't like being timed to get ready.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I have to be sometimes yeah, yeah, so, um, yeah, so I, I that's, that's, that's coming up, that's coming up, yeah. And then, um yeah, life is life's good. You went on a date, I, I did go on a date, but who knows what's going to be of it when this episode comes out I went on a date.
Speaker 1:People like to hear about that.
Speaker 2:I agreed to go on a second date, which is I don't think I've ever done so. Oh nice. I mean, obviously in high school, when I met your dad, I did, but that's the only. That is literally the only other second date, so this is the second second date of my life. Wow, that's crazy. Props to him.
Speaker 1:You made it brother so we'll see, yeah, yeah, yeah anyway today we were talking about about friends and the importance of having, like girlfriends and, yeah, just those kinds of relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah, life and the value in life and, um, yeah, it's a, it's a dead. I'm dedicating it actually to some friends. Nice, yeah, I want to shout out to these people and to my friend Angie this was her idea, angie and Jodi and Eileen and Maden it was a group of people that we did like a girls' night for Christmas.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So fun. First of all, we've been friends oh my goodness since we were in high school, and, although Angie and I hated each other in the beginning because we fought over a boy a dumb boy, I know but then we ended up becoming such good friends.
Speaker 2:we ended up living together in college like she was my roommate in college for a little while and, um, we have been friends for so long. There was a period of time that she was mad at me because she felt like I was isolating myself, and this is one of the reasons why I wanted to talk about this subject. I was isolating myself and I explained years later that I was hurting. I was really hurting and I was embarrassed. I was so embarrassed to be in the situation that I was in. I didn't like myself and I didn't like what was going on around me and I didn't have any energy to put into any friends and I didn't want to explain myself. So I kind of shut people out of my life and you know that's so hurtful it's hurtful to people, it's also hurtful to yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's so important to um, even when you are married and you have a relationship, I think it's so important to hold on to the girlfriends because you want to cultivate all the parts of you. Yeah, and even if your partner is your best friend, um, there's something different about having a girlfriend yeah. So I just think that that those friendships are really important and then, like in this case you know we're talking, you know what 16 or 17 years old to you know 50 in our 50s yeah like that's a long time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that was how Angie Eileen and I became friends a little bit later than that. And then Jodi high school, she moved from Mississippi, I think it was, and I mean just the memories that I have with these people is it runs so deep, like and so and so getting together and doing that was so fun. Um, we, eileen, wanted us to dress up in these ridiculous pajama outfits and I was like I'm absolutely not doing that.
Speaker 2:I was like no, way yeah, because I thought she's not gonna have gotten a size that's gonna fit all of us and I'm not wearing these pajama boxers. She didn't get like different sizes.
Speaker 1:She just got one size.
Speaker 2:She did get a variety of sizes and they actually did fit. So I mean they were loose and baggy, but that was fine. It was better than being like really tight. And then I actually still sleep in those pajamas because they meant a lot to me yeah.
Speaker 2:And one of them was like christmas pajama, boxers and a tank top from target. But, um, target's got good stuff. Yeah, I mean like I, I, I am, they're so comfortable. So we had these like tall christmas socks on and our christmas necklaces and christmas headbands and it was just really fun and we were like doing a photo shoot, which is sounds so silly at this age. Why, um, I don't know I don't think it's silly it's just.
Speaker 2:It was just fun the only other time I remember, like you know, because we didn't live in the social media time, so, but we did have a friend who had a camcorder which is like a video recorder yeah, I know what it is and, um, we would make up these videos. And angie was there, eileen and jody weren't there, but angie and another friend, a couple of other friends, we I don't know if eileen was there, maybe I don't think so. Anyway, we were like doing, like shooting little video.
Speaker 2:First we were pretending we were animals like from oh, out in the wild, yeah, and then another one, angie, was like Ted Bundy and we were pretending to interview Ted Bundy and I was some pyromaniac and who was like talking to a pet parrot on my shoulder and I was deep into character, like I am like really acting like I'm schizophrenic and like this parrot is talking to me and um, and I'm talking about fire and how I love fire, and elena is holding the camera and just laugh. You could just hear her laughing into the camera, the whole camera shaking while they're recording, and it was just so. It was so fun. Yeah, it was so fun and we were like old enough to to like go do stuff, but we, we just it was a rainy day and we were bored and so we just videotaped yeah I would love to have that right now.
Speaker 2:That would be so funny to see yeah so I just I don't know it's really important to have these kinds of friendships in our lives and and not to like let go of and just let people dwindle into the, into the past. I mean I have had friendships like that where you know we were friends for like a season of friendship and then not anymore, and that for some of those people it's been very hard.
Speaker 1:It was heartbreaking yeah, well, because it's a like a loss, it's a loss yeah yeah, and you always feel left, like what did I do?
Speaker 2:like why, like that's how I have taken it, for some reason, and yeah, so with these, you know, with these lifelong friends that you make sometimes, you know you go through your different seasons of life but you know that you can always come back to them, yeah, yeah, so that's really special.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think I have anybody that is from high school that I'm like friends with anymore. I mean, like I like still talk to only just one person every once in a while. But like my friends now are now are like the people that I'm like these will be the people that, like my kids, will say like auntie grace, like I know, like that's how it'll be, so like it's like this is the best I've ever felt about the friends that I've had in my life that's good, yeah, and like there, it's like a group of women that, like I trust and I also like can be completely like myself, unapologetically, which is like so crazy, like how hard it is to find like new For sure Friends For sure.
Speaker 1:I think that's definitely like a this, the world that we live in now, yeah, kind of thing, because I don't know, or maybe it's just like when you get older it gets harder.
Speaker 2:I think it gets harder when you're older. I think it's also harder when you work from home. I think that makes a huge difference, because I'm sitting there thinking about what was going on at my life at your age and I was still really I mean, I was just finishing college. I don't even know if I was finished with college at your age. Actually, I don't think I was um, but I so I was like really social still like I still was out and doing things and, um, not at home very often.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think it was a little bit easier. And then, even when I worked, like I had friends at work, but sometimes those friends trans like transferred beyond work but sometimes they didn't.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it's just friends at work, yeah Um what'd you think?
Speaker 2:friends at work are nice too, for sure.
Speaker 1:Um, oh yeah. I mean, I definitely remember, like when I did work at certain places, like there are people that I like, there are people that I like, there are people that, like, I will talk to and like, will pick up where we left off.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But like it's not like the kind of person I talk to in my everyday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, which like they don't know all of your stories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, all of your.
Speaker 2:But I mean some of those like my work, like Melanie and Alexis and like that's a long friendship and we still have to this and we know what's going on in each other's lives and yeah, I think it's OK to have different types. I do too.
Speaker 1:And this is something that actually Nicole, our pastor at Centerpoint, she talked about this Like she did a sermon on like the different seats that people have in your life where, like you have work friends and then you have like the pick-up, where you left off friends, and then you have like the ride-or-die friends, like the people that you go to like if they need to bury the body with you. Like you have like the friends that you go to when things are good.
Speaker 1:Or you have friends that you go to like when things really rough, like you just have different types and I was like when, ever since she did that sermon, I was like it's such a good way to look at it because fitting everybody into one specific it it.
Speaker 1:It ruins the relationship that you do have with them because like nobody's gonna be able to fulfill all of the seats, so like you have to fill the seats with different people. So that way, like okay, well, like I can't really go to this person with this, but I can go to this person with it. So cause I'm like there are like my, like my, one of my closest friends, grace. She like I go to her, like with my day-to-day stuff, like she knows pretty much everything that's going on in my life, um, but I also like dakota is also like one of my closest friends too, but like she lives further away, so like we see each other once a month, so like she still knows everything that's going on, but she's not always up to date. Yeah, so it's like a a different.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like both of them. I would consider two of my best friends, but like they're just different. They're different roles for different things, so I think that's also something to like. Just keep in mind, Especially when I think it's so hard, when you graduate high school and you go into college or you go into, like that age of like you're like young 20s is like you're like uh, I don't know how to find friends like all I know how to do is follow people on Instagram. At this point, like that's what people know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and like, I've had some of my girls who, like I'm a small group leader, for they're like I don't know like what to do. Yeah, like when I'm not in high school and I'm like it's definitely hard, like, yeah, you have to put yourself in some uncomfortable situations and you you want to find um activities or things that you enjoy doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you kind of have to do it alone at first yeah and which is which we're not like used to. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so like, which is a thing I think has changed, because and maybe I don't know, maybe that hasn't changed. I guess that would be more of a question for you. But when I guess, even before COVID, like when I was like 18, 19, I felt like I did stuff and it was normal to just like go and like kind of meet people there and like it wasn't weird or awkward, like it was a little bit like the normal amount but it wasn't like.
Speaker 1:Somebody saw you by yourself and was like why aren't you with someone? But now it kind of feels like you's scared and fragile around social interaction. I think COVID really did a number on the way that we interact with people in person.
Speaker 2:I think that's a good point. I feel like it was more like that when I was like going somewhere by yourself was like oh, gosh, I'm not going by myself, yeah okay, yeah, it was um, like I mean, I'm even thinking about, I don't remember ever just meeting friends somewhere, like we always came and picked each other up oh yeah, so um oh, I always.
Speaker 1:I'm like I'll meet you there. I want to be going by myself me too now.
Speaker 2:But I definitely would have been like insecure or whatever in the past. So I think that's, I think that's interesting, yeah, so it definitely feels. Yeah, but I do think when you put yourself in situations where you like, I feel like I have good work friends, even though I work online work friends now, some of which goes beyond work, Like we talk all the time, I feel that way too. Like my friend Christy, we talk all the time. Yeah, I've gotten like-. My friend Carrie.
Speaker 1:Friendships, like with some of my clients even.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I'm like one of my clients just had a baby and like, and then we like just met the other day on Zoom and like I told her about the engagement and like she's just like the kind of person that, like every time we talk, like yeah, it's work related, but I'm like I love talking to her, yeah, yeah, um and like, even like one, a girl that her name's megan.
Speaker 1:She used to be my intern initially and then she was a contractor for me and like we still talk and like I love talking to her, like now it's not as much work related as it used to be, but like it was at the time like. But it was like it was like my favorite part of the week, like when I got to meet with the team, because I was like oh, megan and I can catch up.
Speaker 2:So I kind of feel like maybe you can. It's engaged on, like how much time you're willing to put in with a person, are you willing to give them time outside of the work hours or outside of you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I guess Maybe say a little bit more about that.
Speaker 2:Like what do you mean?
Speaker 1:Well, I guess I mean Like what depends on that, like the state of the relationship no, nothing. Guess I mean Like what depends on that, like the state of the relationship no nothing depends on that.
Speaker 2:It's just that I find if I'm willing to give my time to someone, then I feel like maybe they're like I wouldn't say a better, closer friend. I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't know what I'm saying I think that's where it comes into, like it just being different yeah, and like being willing to accept the fact that, like, certain relationships are like require different effort, require different like versions of your like emotional state, like they're. They're just different because I'm like there are people that I'm like, yeah, I spend more time with them, but like I'm like, well, like I am closer to some of the people that I don't spend as much time with, like I'm friends with people who have kids, yeah, and so it's harder, yeah, to spend as much time with Like I'm friends with people who have kids, yeah, and so it's harder, yeah, for sure To spend in-person time with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I also like, would consider them some of my closest people.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm like, yeah, I think it just depends Like on, like this, on the state of the relationship, also your expectations. Yes.
Speaker 2:Of yourself as well, and not just Expectations are so big. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I remember when I first was like coming back from camp and like my relationships with camp people were kind of fizzling out because they all lived so far and I was really the main one putting in the effort I was like trying to find. Like in the effort I was like trying to find like I just wanted like that best friend, like that person that like could come to my house and like just sit and like do nothing with me or whatever, because like I envisioned that from like high school, like that's what I wanted when I was in high school, but as, like, I evolved and cycled out of some friendships, I was like, maybe that's not what I want or need and
Speaker 1:maybe I need to stop putting that expectation on people because, like, maybe they I just can expect that they show up how they show up and I can be okay with that, and if I need something more in a different area, then then I can communicate. Also. See that in others too, like I don't have to rely on just one person for that. Yeah, I think that was something that that's probably a good lesson like one of my high school best friends.
Speaker 1:Like that, I put a lot of pressure on her. Um, I think there were some things that like were not great on both ends, but I think that I put pressure on her to be that like one person because that's what I wanted.
Speaker 1:So bad, because it's thought that's what I thought I needed in a best friend, but like the way that she was able to give love was not that way. So it was like like I should have been like, okay, well, like this is what you're willing to give and what you're willing to do, like I need this as well. So I'll do this with you, but I'll do this with someone else and like that be okay, like learning to be able to be like just because it's also I think it's a scarcity thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's thinking in a scarcity mindset, of thinking like, well, if I go with somebody else, then I'm not giving you as much, like no, there's enough to go around to everyone. Just because I'm giving someone some of me doesn't mean that I'm taking away from another person.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think that's probably, which is something.
Speaker 2:I just am now concluding, right now, in this moment. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. That also explains why sometimes I feel like I've been too much for people, because maybe I have, because I have that expectation has been so high for them to fill all the seats, yeah. And it felt overwhelming to them. They're like whoa.
Speaker 1:It also makes you feel bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because then you're also putting the pressure on yourself to be like well, why am I? Why can't they fill all the seats?
Speaker 2:What is wrong with me that they don't want to fill all those seats?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Nothing is wrong with you. What is wrong with me that they don't want to fill all those seats. Nothing is wrong with you and nothing is wrong with them. It's just that we need a community. It takes a village when people say that I feel like. When I used to hear that I'm like all right, but now especially seeing my friends have kids.
Speaker 2:I'm like it does like have kids. Yeah, I'm like Definitely it does yeah.
Speaker 1:It takes people and it takes a lot of different people. Yes, to be able to support you in all the things Because. I'm like some people aren't going to be able to show up for you in this season of life and others are going to be much better at it.
Speaker 1:And that doesn't mean that they're being a jerk or they're a crappy friend. It just means that that's not the capacity that they have and somebody else does. It doesn't mean they love you less. It just means that they're working on something for themselves, and I think that's a hard. It's a hard thing to recognize in the moment. Yeah, Because it feels like why aren't you doing what I need? Yeah, especially because it's hard to find. It's hard to find, like, good people.
Speaker 2:I think so too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like your people, yeah. So, yeah, I think church has really helped me with that. Like I've really like been able like going in person. I think that was such a big shift. I remember when I went to the it's called the her conference that they do at center point every year, and Nicole was speaking, and this was during the time where I was only watching online.
Speaker 1:I went to this because Jake was like you should go, like it's gonna be good, and I was like okay, and she was like Nicole is a very blunt person, um, and she was on stage and she was like we're is a very blunt person. And she was on stage and she was like we're, in a time like, where a lot of you, like you, watch on Sundays like online, she was like that's great, I love that you do that. And she was like, but stop. She was like you need to come. And at first I was like okay, rude, like I'm still attending church, because, like I do think that is attending church. But she was like you're not getting the energy of just standing next to a person Like you. You are missing that aspect of it. And I was like I was annoyed when she first said that, because I felt like called out.
Speaker 1:I was like well, it's like I'm comfortable, I'm able, I feel like I'm more willing to watch, and then I go every Sunday if I'm like watching online. And I remember after I like pulled her to the side and I was like I'm having a hard time Like with what you said, because I feel kind of like almost a little attacked, yeah and um, she was like I get that, like I understand, and she was like it's not an attack, it's just that we have lost the human connection and a lot of what we do with working from home and social media and um, using technology for everything, and she was like there's something different about even if you don't talk to people, yeah, just being in the presence of other human beings, yeah, who are there for a similar reason yeah, and, and that could really be in anything
Speaker 2:yeah, with church, with whatever you're doing even, even with work, even with work, yeah doing things working in person more and like getting together with your company or whatever, like the the energy that you get from other people. I can see that. I also can see why you felt called out.
Speaker 1:Because I felt that way, yeah, when you said some something similar because it's a hard, it's a hard truth to hear, but I was also something that I needed, and then I did start coming it is.
Speaker 2:It's so difficult that's a whole nother subject. I feel like church and um, yeah, yeah and and like coming or person or whatever, or like things around church like that, feel like that could be a whole nother topic yeah, but not right now. Yeah, yeah, I would like to continue it because I have do have some questions and would have some things to say about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but, um, but I think, sticking to the point of I think human connection it is, it is different in person than it is because, like even one, two of the friends I mentioned just a minute ago that I've met later on in life through working, yeah um online are one of them I've never met in person. She lives in canada, so I've never met her in person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've only met theresa once yeah yeah, one time she's one of my closest friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah me too in person, and she's so much littler than I thought she would be yeah, yeah and then carrie, she's, she was little too. I was like you're little, like it was so shocking. They're probably like you're so tall. Yeah, it's like your perspective, it's just different. Yeah, and I don't know the energy, um, that I felt with like old friends was.
Speaker 2:So it's, it's fun to be we're in a text thing and we like text back and forth, but, um, it's fun to be in person, like you feel yeah and like the touching, the touching, I miss touching, yeah and um, and so that is another like that makes me feel emotional, one of the things we took this one picture with all these socks yeah and we put our feet in, and so we're all like kind of on each other because, we had to get in close to get everybody's legs.
Speaker 2:Yeah and um, yeah, and that was just it. It like filled me with like joy, yeah, yeah. So as much as I do still love like talking on the phone, like that's still you're such a phone talker. I am a phone talker. That's because I grew up in the 80s and that's what you did.
Speaker 2:You had the phone with the long cord and the windy thing and you were like all over the house with it. And the day you went to Radio Shack and got the really long cord you were like, yes, I can go around the whole house like this. It was a whole, whole new world. I mean, now you can go anywhere you want with your cell phone. But so I talked on the phone and I only have really well, that's not true, because Carrie and I can talk on the phone for hours, but Eileen and I can talk on the phone for hours, but she likes talking on the phone too. So we just talk and we do go about our day and do what other. You know, I've got my AirPods in, that's great, and we just talk on the phone. You're right, and you don't like talking on the phone.
Speaker 1:I don't mind talking on the phone. I would prefer FaceTime. Like normally, when I talk to my friends on the phone, it's on FaceTime.
Speaker 2:On FaceTime yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like we don't. I, they like, are like I want to talk about this specific thing with you while I'm on my way to whatever. Yeah, but there's like it's not just like to be like hey, like just chat. You know, like if we're going to just chat, it's on FaceTime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's um, that's interesting. I think that's a generational thing. I don't mind talking on FaceTime, but I can't honestly see Eileen and I doing that because we're like multitasking. Today we were talking about getting old. Ouch, ouch, something fell on my shirt. It hurts, um, but we were talking about getting older. And because it was her birthday yesterday, that was her. It's her birthday yesterday, that was her birthday, um, and I called and on the text, I'm like happy birthday. I'm going on and on and I'm like wait, are you 50? I'm like wait, no, you're not 50, you're how old am I? And I couldn't like this whole thing was going on on the, on the recording, and I was like I'm, I go, how old am I gonna be? And I was like trying to remember and then I was like forget it, I go, how old am I gonna be? And I was like trying to remember and then I was like forget it, I don't even know how old you're gonna be.
Speaker 1:Really. It's so hard for me to keep track because I can't ever remember your birth year no 71. Okay, yeah, so 54, okay, um somebody asked me and I was like 50 something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so anyway. So Eileen calls and she's laughing because she heard the message and she's like and I think what did she say? Now I can't remember 51 or 52. 52?, I think 52.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's probably like great. Thanks for exposing my age on the podcast.
Speaker 2:But anyway. So we're just talking about like how your brain especially when you've known someone through so many stages of your brain it's like, it's crazy, yeah. And so we were talking about, we were talking about that, we're laughing about that. And then we're she was oh, there's a carnation that just is right outside the window, and I was like what? And I'm thinking a carnation? And so I'm thinking, okay, a flower is right outside the window and she's like that reminds me of my dad, because her dad passed away. Yeah, it's been a long time now.
Speaker 2:We were talking about how we can't believe how long it's been and and and I was like, huh, I'm like I don't think I've ever heard this before, that carnations make her think of her dad. And so she says it's still there. I'm like, well, where would it go? That cardinal is what she was talking about. So then she kept saying carnation and then she goes I'm going gonna take a picture of it and send it to you, and she's like you're gonna have to zoom in so you can see the bird. And I was like what the bird? And she's like, yeah, the cardinal.
Speaker 2:I was like you said carnation and and so we were laughing so hard over carnation and cardinal and I wasn't even 100 positive that she said carnation. I'm like, no, she said carnation. I know she said carnation and cardinal and I wasn't even 100 positive that she said carnation. I'm like, no, she said carnation. I know she said carnation and she did not say cardinal and um, and it was just I don't know and it's a dumb story, but it was so funny to us and we were just laughing so hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because the whole story made so much more sense when she said cardinal like because she said when they are all around, and I was like are well, sometimes there's carnations all around, you know? So it was just. And then, but I'm like, how did one just show up randomly outside the window? So that was the part that didn't make sense. And then I'm like, oh, cardinal, okay, I get it, yeah, yeah. So these are the things that you get to look forward to in life, nice yeah, I love that for me anyway.
Speaker 1:So it's just important to um, it's important to have relationships with other people, and if that means and in-person relationships, I think online I mean like I voxer with my friend christy almost every day and that I like that because we can hear each other's voices um, but I think that in person makes a difference yeah, yeah, we I use marco polo with like our friends, like with my different friend groups and stuff, and that has been such a like connector of all of us Because like texting is so difficult and also like you can't tell tone.
Speaker 2:Like you don't know how somebody's feeling.
Speaker 1:And with Marco Polo, like you can see their face and like obviously hear their voice, and it's there. It's like Voxer, but with video, basically.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's nice, yeah, it's really cool. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it can be as long as you want it to be. It stays there forever, so like you don't have to. You can take your time to watch it Like I love Marco Polo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's nice, that would be. I know we're not going to do a different thing, but I think that's, but I do. It's interesting to think about like friends, that I don't really have a lot of friends where I do see them in person. I don't even see you in person that much, which is one of the reasons why I wanted to do the podcast. It's like I don't see you, I don't see. I mean I see my mom and like Nanny and Steve. Yeah, I mean I see my mom and like Nanny and Steve.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I need to do more in people, in person things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think it's like it's important and it like it does, like it fills the different, different buckets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that need to be filled, and also it like it gives you, like I feel like we're out of practice, out of social practice. So it's for sure, yeah, so, which is why I was offended when nicole had said that from the stage and then I was like you're not wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I remember going home and talking to jake and being like nicole said there's some war and he was like, well, like you probably should, and I was scared. I felt that, felt scary yeah because I also, like at that point I was like still, I was not, I didn't feel comfortable like in my own skin, so like things like that just felt hard, but also like staying at home like was not helping that yeah like that was just feeding into those feelings that I was having that were negative Because I started going out and like talking to people and becoming more comfortable Because I put myself in situations to practice.
Speaker 1:So like it wasn't all great at the beginning. It wasn't like instantly like, wow, this is wonderful, took time. Beginning it wasn't like instantly like wow, this is wonderful, um, took time. But like now, like after a couple of years, like I'm like I enjoy being there on a Sunday and like standing around and talking to people and like not even just at church, like now I've made relationships from people from church that, like we do stuff together everywhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like now I can go like just last night I to orlando to see one of the girls I met through someone at church and celebrate her birthday and like it was just so nice to like just sit in her apartment and like we were watching twilight which is like she loves twilight and it was just like so funny I can't believe you jabbed the acting on twilight have you watched it recently?
Speaker 2:because it is a rough watch really yeah I think I I mean, I haven't watched it now, but I've watched really good things like ozark or you have to watch it because okay, because it's bad.
Speaker 1:It's pretty bad, all right, we were just making fun of it the whole time I was like oh my goodness, she jabbed twilight, yeah well, I mean like we were sitting there watching it and even just like I would like say something as like a joke in response to it and like, um, she would laugh and I would like we would be laughing like that and it was just like it was nice to be able to like touch her arm and like connect about that and like laugh together like that yeah but I'm like that, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know how that would have happened if I wouldn't have started putting myself in uncomfortable positions to start to figure out who I wanted to spend my time with yeah, you know yeah and like I'm like now I I said like these are the friends that I know that I will have for a long, long time, if not forever. Yeah, so yeah, it's just friends are important, your community is important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is for sure. Yeah, it is for sure. It's funny that you say that about aunt. They'll call them aunt, whatever. I mean, that's what Eileen used to say all the time. Yeah, and she'd say that to her kids. I never did that. I never called. Well, I guess Brett.
Speaker 1:Uncle Brett yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess we did with Brett, but I never did that really with anyone else, even though I felt like.
Speaker 1:Eileen has always felt like family to me. Well, she was Jackson's godmother, yeah, and then the same thing with Elena, yeah, who was my like. They were just always like we know Eileen and Elena, because they're Eileen and Elena, like they're, those are our godparents like, so I didn't feel like that needed, like an aunt or uncle title.
Speaker 2:I forgot about that, actually it was just like they were just part of the family anyways, so it was like that yeah, but you didn't spend any time Like we went to see Eileen, we visited her in Alabama. That was so fun. That was really fun. That felt comfortable, yeah.
Speaker 1:But you guys never saw Lena?
Speaker 2:Yeah, not really, but I still felt like when we did that I was like, okay, it's such a, it's just I guess relationships just change, oh yeah for sure and they change yeah, they change um. Eileen is definitely one that is like, been steady for so long.
Speaker 1:Uh-oh.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh.
Speaker 1:The battery's dead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, been steady for so long. Yeah, all right Well.
Speaker 1:That's our cue yeah.
Speaker 2:This was a good one. Yeah, we'll see you in two weeks.
Speaker 1:Yep, have a good Monday or whatever day. You're listening to this, don't forget to subscribe and like and comment and tell us. Tell us about your friendships and how that's been and what if. If you're looking for some friendships, make some in the comments. That would be cool yeah, that would be cool um, yeah, we will talk to you soon, okay, bye.
Speaker 2:Bye.
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