Mind Your Heart
Welcome to "Mind Your Heart," this cozy corner of the internet where Trina Deboree and Emily Reneé —your real-life Lorelei and Rory Gilmore duo—come together each week to chat about everything from mental health to the daily nuances of life. In each episode, we peel back the layers of topics like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders with warmth, understanding, and a touch of humor (because otherwise, this just sounds depressing)!
Trina, an educator turned entrepreneur and mental health advocate, joins forces with her daughter Emily, a mental health coach and anorexia survivor, to share their journeys and insights in a way that feels like a heart-to-heart with old friends. The goal? To spark conversations that truly matter and to create a space where laughter meets healing.
Let's navigate the ups and downs of mental health together, making each day brighter and each challenge a little lighter. Grab your emotional support water bottle, put in your headphones, and join us while we mind our hearts for chats that comfort and inspire.
Mind Your Heart
MYH: 28 Finding "The One": A Wedding Dress Story
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When wedding dress shopping day arrived, Emily wasn't just nervous about finding the perfect gown - she was also navigating the complicated emotions that come with body dysmorphia and the pressure to have that magical "say yes to the dress" moment. What unfolded was more special than she could have imagined.
The universe works in mysterious ways. After booking their perfect venue (the very first one they visited!), securing their DJ, and making progress on their wedding planning checklist, Emily and her mother Trina set out for what would become an unforgettable dress shopping experience. Sometimes the perfect dress finds you - literally. In a serendipitous twist, a gown that wasn't even supposed to be in their private fitting room ended up being "the one."
We dive deep into the emotional journey of wedding planning milestones - from the practical aspects like save-the-dates and vendor selection to the profoundly moving moments like seeing yourself as a bride for the first time. The mother-daughter bond takes center stage as Trina creates a judgment-free space, reminding Emily they could visit as many shops as needed until the right dress appeared. That reassurance made all the difference.
The joy of sharing the moment with loved ones provides some of the episode's most heartwarming moments. From grandparents' teary reactions to a speechless three-year-old who was so impressed she ran to tell her father about "Princess Emily," these connections remind us what weddings are truly about: bringing together the people we love to celebrate a new chapter.
Whether you're planning your own wedding, supporting someone through theirs, or simply appreciate heartfelt stories about life's meaningful moments, this episode offers genuine connection and practical insights into navigating big emotions during significant life transitions. Join us for laughter, tears, and everything in between as we mind our hearts through life's beautiful journeys.
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Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your favorite corner of the internet where we chat about all things mental health.
Speaker 2:I'm Emily and I'm Trina. Together, we're like your real-life Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Each week, we'll bring you real conversations about the world of mental health and we will peel back layers on topics like anxiety, depression and much more.
Speaker 1:We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff, the everyday stuff and everything in between. So grab your emotional support water bottle I know we have ours. Find your comfiest chair or keep your eyes on the road and let's get into it. Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Join us as we mind our hearts and hopefully make minding yours a little easier.
Speaker 1:Hi, hi, welcome to Mind your Heart.
Speaker 2:Welcome, welcome, welcome. So what are we in the month of April? Are we still in the month of March?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I feel like we might be in the month of March.
Speaker 2:We might be. I know we had a show. By the time this comes out, we'll have had a show on March 10th. I don't know if we have one for the next week.
Speaker 1:But anyway it doesn't matter. Yeah, I think we have one in the last week. I think this is the last week of March.
Speaker 2:This episode right now, I think so Okay, all right. Either that or it's the beginning of April.
Speaker 1:So it's my birthday week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's right. Happy birthday, Emily. Emily is the bride this year, 25 year old. Oh, actually that's next year. You're the bride next year and but you're the bride now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because I mean like I'll officially be the bride on january 24th, but um 2026, yeah, 2026 in case you're listening to this in 2030, oh yeah okay, so we are going to talk about the dress experience because if you've been following along, you know that emily and jake got engaged and we got to hear her story about the engagement. We didn't get to hear jake's, and I'm still not happy about that.
Speaker 1:So, um, well, you can take it up with him.
Speaker 2:All right, yeah, um. And then we got to hear all about like the wedding and planning for the wedding and now I have more on that.
Speaker 1:Now I feel I wish we would have done it. Let's go catch up, okay. Well, like I kind of wish we would have done it when I had, because then I didn't, I didn't even, we didn't even wear vision, though you had a vision and I think um hearing the vision was.
Speaker 2:I thought it was very special. I'm sure our listeners I know for sure two of our listeners, nanny and Steve, were happy to hear about it. So I think you just give us a little update. So let's give us a little update. What's going on in the wedding planning world?
Speaker 1:Okay, so we booked a venue. That was the big thing that we needed to do. We booked the first venue we looked at. Basically, we went to the venue and when we were there we were both kind of like we don't really want to go to another tour, mainly because it was like the story of your wedding planning process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like I don't know. Jake was like I don't really want to go to the next place because we were going to have to drive an hour from the place we were and we already drove an hour to like the actual venue that we did end up picking.
Speaker 2:I think we know, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I was like we cannot have only seen one and then pick from that. I was like I know that Lindsay, our wedding planner, would be like no, you need to go to at least two. So I listened to my inner Lindsay voice and I was like no, jake, we need to go to the other place. And we got there and when we got out, like they were actually having a wedding that day. So we got out of the car and like so, because they were having a wedding. They were all like doing stuff and whatever. So it took them a minute for them to like come and meet us and like give us the car and like so, because they were having a wedding. They were all like doing stuff and whatever. So it took them a minute for them to like come and meet us and like give us the tour. So we walked around for a minute and we were like it's just not the last place. So then we did the tour and we were both kind of like which I think the person could tell because she was very nice and we weren't like rude, like we willingly listened and asked questions and stuff. But when we sat down I think she could tell like that. This wasn't the one like for us. She was a very sweet older woman who like owns the place, Like they're from like somewhere in Europe and whatnot.
Speaker 1:Anyway, so we picked our venue, which means we had the date, and then we have booked our DJ, which I'm super excited about that because I just think that's going to be so fun. I really want people to have fun and I want to like dance and like have fun and celebrate. So I'm excited about that dance and like have fun and celebrate. So I'm excited about that. Um, it like the package that we picked like comes with like dancing on a cloud and like a co2 gun and like gold sparklers I don't know just like all a bunch of crazy, like fun things. I'm like this is so extra, but I think it'll be like just fun.
Speaker 1:Um, and the guy I spoke with Sebastian his name is the owner of I Rock your Party and he was just so cool to talk to and he really cares about each person. So we booked our DJ and then we are on our way to booking our photo and video people. So those are the things that I was like we need. Lindsey wanted us to do sooner rather than later. So I did that, and then today I got a makeup trial done, um, and that was easy peasy, so yeah that's those are the up.
Speaker 1:those are the main updates. I'm like I don't think there's anything, anything other than that we're going to go visit the venue again with our planner this time and she's going to walk us through some more details and stuff. But that's all we've got now. But that's much more than what we had when I first talked about this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's very exciting. So the more details you explore it feels like real and exciting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like we have, our guest list is like done pretty much Good. We have like everybody's addresses already and all that good stuff. So that's set. Just got to send out, save the dates, and although I'm not looking forward to doing that because then I have to address a bunch of envelopes, so can't you, can't you do it? I can order them, but then I have to pay for them. Yeah, but then I have to pay for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, so I think I'm gonna print them here, but I don't know how easy that's gonna be well, I think, um, it used to be where you had those labels, those Avery labels that went on the front. I mean you could do like a sticker yeah, it can be clear too, if you didn't like the size, and then you type all that stuff in and then you just put it through the printer and it prints. You know, batch prints all those things.
Speaker 1:I mean.
Speaker 2:I haven't done that in a very long time, so I'm sure that still exists, but there might be something easier and better. I'm like I want to say, but also some people want those nice fancy like handwriting on the envelopes and that's that's, you know your hand.
Speaker 1:So uh, no, I'm not doing my handwriting. I have horrible handwriting and writing is not our brand. It is like all little small capital letters. He has nice handwriting. It's just why is he writing all capitals he'd take? I don't know. He takes a long time to write too, so that that is a pet peeve of mine.
Speaker 2:I did not know that about him, yeah it seems like someone's yelling at you. When they do that, it's just it doesn't look like that. Because it's so small.
Speaker 1:Yeah, here I'll show you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when people do that. There's a guy in my neighborhood that does that and it's yeah, that's not bad. But the guy in my neighborhood does it, he's already like not a very nice person.
Speaker 1:He doesn't type in all capitals. Let me clarify.
Speaker 2:Types in all capitals and it sounds like he's screaming at you and I'm like, can you just calm down please?
Speaker 1:That's a little bit different to me, because Jake does not text or like send an email or post something in all caps. He just writes, physically, writes in all caps because yeah, if you're texting or posting something in all caps, you're yelling yeah, that's what I think.
Speaker 2:Well, why wouldn't it be the same if you're writing?
Speaker 1:I don't know. It just doesn't look like that.
Speaker 2:I just showed you all right, you know what. We don't have to worry about that. Let's move on um. So let's talk about the beautiful, wonderful experience of getting your wedding dress yeah, it was so good.
Speaker 1:It was I, I could. It couldn't have gotten any better. I feel like it was exactly everything that I could have wanted it to be. The place that we went was so cute it was like just the cutest place Like you walked in and they had like my name on a board and it was like welcome bride to be Emily. And then we basically had this we had the story ourselves, like it was there was no one else there, yep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was us. And then the salespeople and they were so sweet, like literally so accommodating, so nice, literally could not say, it was like a British, a British couple who owned the shop and they were so sweet.
Speaker 2:And then there was two people One person was training at, which was delightful, because then we had two people, one person was training, and which was delightful because then we had two people and we were. They took us into this room and it had this very like nice couch and it had a bunch of seating. So if you were there with like a whole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you had, they had a five people like maximum, five guests, maximum.
Speaker 2:So so, which would have been insane yeah so, um, we, you decided to, the two of us were going and I thought that was a good idea because I had a really special moment with my mom when I went wedding dress shopping. I mean, we had some that mean lady took my dress and whatever, but um, but it was just nanny and I and it was a special time. And then so I got to do that with you and that was also a special time. And you, you stood on this little pedestal and they tried on these different dresses and they closed the curtains and you would get dressed and then they open the curtains and yeah, it was real, it was. Yeah, it was very exciting. You don't have to talk about the dresses I know you won't, because we don't want Jake to hear any information but like, how did it feel? Like the first dress you tried on was the one that I was like try that one on first, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was the one that you ended up liking. It did stay in the running like it was the top three it was pretty.
Speaker 2:It looked very pretty on you yeah, there were.
Speaker 1:I don't, there was only like one or two that I was like no, this is definitely not it and you tried on like eight yeah, it was yeah like seven or eight or something like the dress.
Speaker 2:You picked the one that was accidentally left in the room. Yes, okay, that's crazy. So there was a dress in the room when we got there and they're like, oh, um, did someone keep it?
Speaker 1:yeah, they were like, we'll just keep it here because, like um, we think that it would like match, like your, your pinterest board even though it's a little different from yeah, that you have on there, and I was like, okay, like it's pretty so, like, yeah, you can keep it. But in my head I was like that's probably not good, yeah, me too. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing but I also didn't see the back of it, so yeah, the back of it is yes.
Speaker 2:Is that's when I was like, oh, this is so you yeah, so I I was. That was what sold me on my dress too. So that's funny, Yep.
Speaker 1:I was nervous going into it and it was funny because we walked in and one of the women was like we're not going to hurt you, like you can be excited.
Speaker 2:Now you seem scared.
Speaker 1:Did we both seem scared, or just you? No, I mean, you were probably already starting to cry. So, um, and I, I just probably looked anxious because I just you don't, you don't know, like the thing about all of this stuff with wedding stuff is that like it's always someone's well, not always, but most of the time it's someone's first time doing this stuff. Like it's not often where people are like oh yeah, this is like my fourth or fifth time, like you know what I mean. Like you don't go in to do those things when it's that. So it's like it's you don't know what you might. You might, for sure you might, but it's not as common Normally.
Speaker 1:When you're going in to do those things, it's like oh, this is the first time that you've done this, and so it's like the unknown. And also like with my like past struggles with, like, my body dysmorphia, I was a little bit nervous of like feeling, like I'm like I don't want to be in a place where I'm like oh, oh, I don't like the way like my body looks like. I didn't want to focus on that, so I was like kind of trying to work a little overtime to like shift my mindset, to be whatever, and I like I did my hair and I did my makeup, so that way I could like help with that a little bit and like have the so pretty.
Speaker 2:So, um, thank you. So you looked beautiful and you were glowing, and also we talked a little bit about that before we went, because you told me you were very upfront and I think I did I disappoint you in my response no, I thought you were perfect, there was nothing.
Speaker 1:When I say there was nothing, I would change, there was nothing, I would change about anything Like there, I think everything went perfectly.
Speaker 2:I like yeah, I do too, and one of the things I remember thinking was I wanted you to feel like comfortable, as if you were trying it on first of all with no one there, like you would feel a lot less like you were focused on that. You know what I mean. If you so it was. I'm like I want to reassure of that. That, um, there's always no judgment in my eyes yeah and also I wanted you to know that we could take the pressure off that we didn't find the dress that day.
Speaker 1:All right, we'd go again and again that was so helpful. Honestly, like that, our conversation on the way to like the shop, like was like that was all I needed to hear. Because it was like okay, because it was like almost like I was putting I didn't feel that pressure from you at any point, but I was putting it on myself and then, like hearing you be like whatever happens today, like is we're just we're just going to have fun, yeah.
Speaker 2:We're just figuring it out and then it is a little bit yeah, it's just going to be, yeah, just a big try on clothes and have fun with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you being like I'll go with you however many times we have to go, was like, okay, like I don't have to like try to rush, because you'll still go with me, even if I need to go five or six times, which, thank goodness, I didn't need to go and also that, um, you like that's understandable that you would be concerned about that, even if you because I am like, okay, okay, let's go, let's I can be impatient I didn't feel the least bit impatient. I was like my, I was fully present, I didn't want anything to distract me and I was like all right, I'm here for the duration. And then we had a another appointment. We had an appointment at 11 and then we had an appointment at one.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So anyway, so you try on the different dresses, you narrow it down to three and then, and then she got when we narrowed it down.
Speaker 1:I didn't need to narrow it down after I tried on yeah.
Speaker 2:When you came out in the first gown that doesn't end up being the gown, I was like, oh, wait a minute, what's happening? Like I thought she was, I thought you were going to just walk down this, because they had her walk down like this, almost like an aisle in the shop to a mirror, and so I was taken out to a different room and had to sit on a couch, another couch, and wait for you to come, and so I was like starting to feel emotional and then I was like I got confused.
Speaker 1:I was like wait yeah, because they wanted me to try them on in reverse order, like of like the ones that we had. So they were like pick the one that you is like, maybe on your least, and then we'll walk it in that.
Speaker 1:And then the second that's very smart to do that so that way, like you, could really feel yeah, yes, this is it yeah um, but at that point I kind of was like I don't even need to walk in these other two, like I didn't want to take the other one off, so and it's so, it is so comfortable, that's. The other thing is that like there are parts of this dress that like would surprise me of being comfortable, but it was very comfortable and I felt like secure and like just like good, like I felt like situated and like just like good, like I felt like situated and all all that.
Speaker 1:So yeah, then, and and the other, the other two that we had narrowed it down to like were pretty, like they were beautiful dresses. Excuse me, but like it just didn't give me that feeling like and I I you hear that like you, you just get this like it's the one and part of you is like what does that mean? Like okay, but you know what.
Speaker 2:I think it's important not to rob yourself of completely knowing that and so having done it the way you did, it actually allows it to be really obvious that this is the one because Because when you were saying that, I'm like, I always think that that was a regret, like the dress I really wanted someone else took and they didn't bring it back to me and whatever. But if I had had an experience like you did and I had to try them both on at the one together and then maybe even a third one, maybe I wouldn't have ended up picking that one all along, maybe I would have picked the one together and then maybe even a third one, maybe I wouldn't have ended up picking that one all along, maybe I would have picked the one that I picked, but I didn't get to have that experience.
Speaker 2:So I will never know, yeah, and so I think I think it was just, I think that's perfect that they did it like that. Yeah, I agree, and you looked beautiful every single time you came down. But, man, when it was the last one, it was like you got emotional, yeah, and then they were like is this the one? I think this is the one, yeah, and then she, but it wasn't like for sure yet, and then you're like, and they're like, and then that you go, but we have another appointment yeah, and I was like who cares about that?
Speaker 2:we'll just cancel it, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then the woman in the shop, she was like people do it all the time. She was like that like we expect that from people like they're you're making other appointments, like we know that there are people that cancel, yeah, um, and I was like when she said that, I was like okay, yeah, this is the one like this is it. And then you're like are you saying yes to the?
Speaker 2:dress, yeah. And then everyone started crying and then it was yeah, even the shop people it was. It was very special. And then they gave us like champagne glasses with I think it was grape juice sparkling grape juice yeah. Which was delicious. I wanted to just gulp it down. It was so good.
Speaker 1:And then we did a little video and it was very special, yeah, and then we called some people and showed them.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was so fun yeah that was so good.
Speaker 1:We called Nanny and Steve, and that was just the best like the best reaction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, their faces, and they got it at the exact same time. That's what it was like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I I didn't know that. They didn't know that you were calling them for that.
Speaker 2:Like I thought you had texted them, they didn't they didn't know, because steve was like, oh, we're here and then, and then he's like sitting on one side of the. I'm like where's nanny?
Speaker 1:and yeah I know I'm like go get nanny like you.
Speaker 2:We cannot show this to just one person at a time, no and yeah, so he got gets up and he goes over there, and then they're just. They're like oh like they realize, and their faces were nanny instantly started crying. She's like oh, that was so fun.
Speaker 1:I wish we had a video of that, because that was the best reaction yeah, yeah it was, it was so good, yeah. And then I called, like, my bridal party, I called all of them and, um, everybody's response was so good, like it was cool, was cool to just like call them in that moment and be like they were all excited with me. And then my matron of honor, her daughter is three years old and she was there with her and she, like, she goes like, look like Miss Emily is like in her wedding dress and Daisy, like, is her like Miss Emily is like in her wedding dress and Daisy, like, is her name. Daisy covers her mouth and like, is like flabbergasted, basically Like speechless as a three-year-old. And I was like, oh my God, like to get a three-year-old to be speechless.
Speaker 2:I was like a princess. Yeah, I was like oh, this is crazy.
Speaker 1:And then she like runs away after that and Grace was like, oh well, there she goes. But later on Grace texts me and she's like apparently Daisy was like going to get her dad, sam, to tell him like come, look at this dress. So which I was like it was the cutest like response from her ever. So it was like like everybody, it was good to see everybody in all of the different ways.
Speaker 2:so yeah, it was very special. I'm gonna hold on to that memory, yeah, yeah, it was so good. We took lots of pictures and we can't show any of them to jake and we have to wait no, he won't even let me show him the ones I didn't get.
Speaker 1:He like wants to be fully like surprised. But I the other day I was texting, I was texting somebody in bed and, um, it had like the bottom of my dress, like at the top of the text thread, um, and he like looked over and saw that and he was like oh no.
Speaker 1:And I'm like I'm like, well, you knew it was gonna be white, like that's not really that much of a surprise, so, um, but he's like even when I came home today from my makeup trial, he was like covering his eyes and I'm like I'm gonna keep it on most of the day to see how it lasts, like yeah you open your eyes yeah, yeah and then he was like no, no, I have to be surprised and I was like it's still like, I still look like me, like it's not like that much of a shock, like it's just me wearing makeup, like you can open up yeah um, and then he finally did, because he was like I can't close my eyes all day.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's silly, no, that was fun. It was fun. Yeah, um, nanny was like then we can go get our dresses and we can coordinate. And I'm like coordinate, I'm like we're not. Yeah, she goes what color does emily want us to wear? I go mom, we're not in the wedding, we're not coordinating I'm like well, you're in the wedding.
Speaker 2:You're walking me down the aisle, oh yeah oh yeah, so what do I need to wear a certain um, yeah, yeah, I guess you wear like the pink, that blush, pink color, oh okay, but it doesn't. It can be whatever style, because I found one, but it's gray, so it's very pretty.
Speaker 1:Did you already buy it?
Speaker 2:No, it's more than I can pay at the moment, but I saw it and I was like, oh, I want this.
Speaker 1:All right, that's fine.
Speaker 2:That's fine, sure Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't really care that much.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So like, if you feel good and excited about it, then that's fine. As long as it's not white, I don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not white, and if I can find a like that and the right color, then I will be happy to. So you just tell them a color and they look for a dress.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna give some swatches. I think I'm gonna go to like Lowe's or Home Depot and get some of like those swatches and just get them and like hand give them to people, so that way, um, they can like pick from a few different color, like shades of it, and then like, if people like find a dress that has like a pattern with that color or like whatever, like I just want people to feel like confident, that's the thing. So I'm like pick whatever style dress you want. Um it just I will. I do want it to be floor length or like at least like shin, like a cocktail dress yeah, that's the one that I saw is, um, yeah, like a cocktail dress yeah, just not like tight and short yeah, yeah, short like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah like semi-formal is the attire.
Speaker 2:Well, anyway, so okay. So I forgot that I was in the wedding. I know I don't have to wear a suit, right, I don't have to wear a tux.
Speaker 2:Okay, good, why would you have to wear a tux? No, I don't know. So, yeah, well, nanny and I can still shop and figure it out. That would be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but so, yeah, so anyway, we, yeah, it's because I'm like, oh my goodness, I didn't even think about like what am I going to wear to the wedding? And then Jackson, and like yeah, Well he's going to have to get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, he will have to because he is in also in the wedding. I don't he doesn't know that yet, though, unless you've told him. I don't know if I've told him okay because, jake has not asked any of his people yet he like why?
Speaker 1:because he wants to get them like all a gift and like ask them in a specific way. But, like he like just has yet to do that. But our planner said it was fine. But I'm like you need to get on it because they need to be aware that they're gonna be in it because, like the for the, it's a little harder for the groomsmen because they do have to wear like a more of a specific. Yeah, like they're gonna wear the same thing, yeah, yeah. So, um, yeah, I'm like you need to get on the stick and ask them. Like his best man doesn't even know yeah, he probably needs to tell him.
Speaker 2:So that's exciting though. So, um, yeah, that's a special thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2:And thank you for, yeah, including me. That was very special.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was so happy that it was just the two of us, it was so good. I had gone with my maid of honor to try on dresses with her and she had, like how many did she have? Two, like five people and I was like I don't know how you did it, like I was like you're, you've got more confidence in this because I'm like I wouldn't, I couldn't have stood in front of that many people and made my own choice.
Speaker 1:So, um, but all the opinions yeah, although all the people that she had there were great, like not nobody was like very opinionated. So she had a good group of people, that's good. Um, but I was like no, I don't think I can do that, it's too much pressure yeah, I don't know if I ever went with anyone to get their wedding dress.
Speaker 2:I might have tried it on dresses with Amanda, but I don't remember. I don't remember anyone else Like I feel like that, and I was the maid of honor and one of those weddings. I don't remember going with her to get the dress, but I must have because her mom wasn't here, so yeah, but I don't remember. She could have gone with her sister too. I don't remember she could have gone with her sister too, I don't know. Anyway, well, that wraps up this episode.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's, that's all I got from that. That's right. Yeah, and that's all you can know until I get married. So you're going to have to wait until January 2026 to see pictures.
