Mind Your Heart
Welcome to "Mind Your Heart," this cozy corner of the internet where Trina Deboree and Emily Reneé —your real-life Lorelei and Rory Gilmore duo—come together each week to chat about everything from mental health to the daily nuances of life. In each episode, we peel back the layers of topics like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders with warmth, understanding, and a touch of humor (because otherwise, this just sounds depressing)!
Trina, an educator turned entrepreneur and mental health advocate, joins forces with her daughter Emily, a mental health coach and anorexia survivor, to share their journeys and insights in a way that feels like a heart-to-heart with old friends. The goal? To spark conversations that truly matter and to create a space where laughter meets healing.
Let's navigate the ups and downs of mental health together, making each day brighter and each challenge a little lighter. Grab your emotional support water bottle, put in your headphones, and join us while we mind our hearts for chats that comfort and inspire.
Mind Your Heart
MYH 32: Small Moments, Big Healing: A Mother-Daughter Mental Health Journey
Have questions? Give us a text.
What happens when a mother and daughter candidly explore the most challenging aspects of their relationship? This raw, heartfelt conversation between Emily and Trina delves into those small moments that forge powerful bonds – from end-of-day debriefings that echo childhood rituals to the physical grounding that happens when anxiety takes over.
Through audience questions, they navigate recent misunderstandings between them, revealing how a text message beginning with "For your information..." spiraled into feelings of disconnection until they committed to face-to-face honest communication. Their vulnerability shines as they discuss how third-party intervention can sometimes worsen communication problems rather than solve them.
The conversation takes unexpected turns as they challenge mental health myths, particularly around medication. Both share personal struggles with finding the right treatment – Emily describing herself as "trying every medication ever with all the worst side effects" while her partner found success immediately. This contrast highlights an important reality: mental health journeys look dramatically different for each person.
Perhaps most powerful is their reflection on strength. Trina reveals how her understanding evolved from believing strength meant "putting it all together" to recognizing that "real strength comes in vulnerability." Meanwhile, Emily shares what she would tell her 17-year-old self struggling with an eating disorder: "You won't have to carry this forever."
For listeners wanting to start mental health conversations but feeling overwhelmed, their advice is refreshingly simple: take one small step. "You don't have to figure out how to get on the right train yet," Emily explains. "Just get off the wrong one."
Tune in for a conversation that feels less like a podcast and more like sitting with trusted friends who aren't afraid to share both their struggles and their wisdom. What small step toward better mental health might you take today?
Trina's First Published Book- Hilarious Would You Rather This or That Writing for Kids
Looking for some FREE coaching from us?! Click this link and submit your questions!
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindyourheartpod/
Watch the Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@mindyourheartpod Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindyourheartpod
Follow Emily on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/confidencecoachem/
Follow Trina on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trina_deboree/
Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your favorite corner of the internet where we chat about all things mental health. I'm Emily.
Speaker 2:And I'm Trina. Together, we're like your real-life Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Each week, we'll bring you real conversations about the world of mental health and we will peel back layers on topics like anxiety, depression and much more.
Speaker 1:We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff, the everyday stuff and everything in between. So grab your emotional support water bottle I know we have ours. Find your comfiest chair or keep your eyes on the road and let's get into it. Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Join us as we mind our hearts and hopefully make minding yours a little easier.
Speaker 1:Hi, hi Welcome back.
Speaker 2:Welcome back. All right. So today we're I'm scooching up Today we're we're going to answer some questions. We're going to answer some audience asked questions, and, yeah, so we will. I'll read the question and then we will answer them. All right, we need to share before that?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. One thing I just thought of um, this is completely random, um, and by the time that this comes out it'll be kind of old news, but uh, and you don't necessarily care about this, but um, the show you on netflix oh, nanny said it.
Speaker 1:Oh, the final season came out and um it. So I was watching this show by myself. Jake did not watch any of the other seasons and he watched the first episode of the new season with me, and then he like got hooked on it, and so now he like wants me to wait to watch each episode with him absolutely not, oh, I was like I've been waiting for this, so now I've been waiting, like we've been watching.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh yeah, um and nanny was blown away oh yeah I. I don't know how it ends yet, so like we have.
Speaker 1:I think we have two more episodes left in the final season and like I'm already like holy shit, like if it's crazy, and season four ended wild like that's what nanny thought, that was the end.
Speaker 2:And then she was like, oh, there's a whole another season, yeah, so yeah I don't know, I only started it because of you. And then I'm like you know what?
Speaker 1:I don't like this, and so I just I was gonna say it's probably not something that you would like, but it is. It's insane. So I am like tonight, after my long work, I were watching it and I and we're gonna finish it and I'm like I am so excited because I've been waiting for this season to come out, um, and then of course it came out and normally I would have already finished it by now because they actually did it right. They released the whole season. I cannot stand when now streaming platforms are back on the studio. I hate it.
Speaker 2:Cable bullshit I don't have cable for this reason I pay you a large amount every month so I can bend all streaming services, so I can binge it I know jake's like well, it's just so that you'll come back.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, oh, I'm coming back. I'm still paying every month to be coming back. So I know, I just want to watch a difference yeah, it's so weird.
Speaker 2:I've been watching the handmaid's tale, which I'm coming back. I'm still paying everyone to be coming back. I know, I just want to watch a different. Yeah, it's so weird. I've been watching the Handmaid's Tale, which by the time this comes out, we probably won't have caught up because nobody can meet in May. And I'm like, am I just supposed to stop watching right now? Like, come on, so that's?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I might not be able to wait don't know, I might not be able to wait like that's, it's like torture, it's fun to watch it with people, but it's like I want to watch it right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to watch it, um. And then I'm watching another good one called um friends and neighbors, which is on apple tv. That's good, that's crazy. And Dex and I had a conversation about that because I was going to tell him to watch it and he's. I almost texted him because I was like you got to watch this. And then he he I almost texted him because I was like you got to watch this. And then he he's like well, I'm watching this TV. He's like this show. I don't watch a lot of TV, but it's, it's really got me and I'm like and he sets it and I'm like I was gonna tell you to watch, like it has some parallels and um, and then he also has like a kind of messed up sister and I write them later I go we didn't even talk about the messed up sister.
Speaker 2:So it's just, I don't know. It's funny, it's not funny, it's good, it's good. And then what else have I been watching? I watched the Kardashians and I just finished that I love them and, yeah, I don't have anything else after that, like I, I need to start it for the four seasons.
Speaker 1:It's like with, like Tina Fey, oh, I want to see that. Is that good? I literally just started. What is that on Netflix? It's on. Netflix. I like, I'm like five minutes into it, so like, but it's like it's with good people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why I wanted to see it. I forgot I knew there was something else that I wanted to see it. I forgot I knew there was something else that I wanted to see, and the?
Speaker 1:trailer looks cute like, it looks like a good show and I like all of those people, so I'm like it can't be bad no way not with Tina Fey and Steve Carell yeah, I'm like there's no way, it's bad and um.
Speaker 2:Did you watch the one with Kate Hudson, the basketball one? No, I didn't was it good, yeah, I liked it.
Speaker 1:I thought, it was it. I thought it was cute. Yeah, I thought it was cute. I watched the trailer and I was like meh, I don't know, it just didn't like tickle my fancy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you just want something kind of fun and light, it's fun in that way.
Speaker 1:I've been watching some pretty intense things.
Speaker 2:It's hard to go to fun and light when you've been watching like really good acting and good storytelling it is. I remember after watching Ozark I was like no, I can't just watch that, I have to. It's got to be good acting. So maybe not, maybe you just wait for a while. Yeah, all right, so now we can start with our questions.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:So the first question is what's a small everyday moment between you two? That means more than people might expect, and it doesn't have to be every day, because obviously I don't see you every day, but like a small moment that that people might not expect or that means more to us than people might expect.
Speaker 1:I this will be controversial, but whenever we go on trips together and like I get to see you at the end of the day and like we kind of just like are like laying out like what happened and just like talking about those things, like I I enjoy that like because it's like just it feels like how it did when we, when I was younger and like obviously I was living with you, um, and I would like come into your room after school and like tell you all about the day or like stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So like the, the debriefing of any kind, like that, that means a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree, that means a lot. That means a lot to me too.
Speaker 2:It's um, because it is like a continuation of what we shared in a daily relationship yeah, and it's the part that I miss a lot about you not being, you know, not seeing or talking to you regularly, like it is. It's the part that I miss. Also, for me, it's it's even when, like when I'm having a moment of, like really high stress and you push my shoulders down and you just like stand with me and you act as if you're like a weighted blanket. You help me center and calm, and I don't know if people necessarily would notice it, or they might notice it and think what is she doing, but I don't think they would realize, like how much it means to me. Yeah, so Nice, all right. When was a time you completely oh God, completely misunderstood each other, and what helped you reconnect or find clarity?
Speaker 1:Well, what happened recently? I don't even remember what the situation was.
Speaker 2:I don't either actually, but I totally did misunderstand you and um.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you texted me a text that started with, for your information. Oh, and I was like this is not going to be good. I think this was about church.
Speaker 2:I feel like this was about church. This is about church?
Speaker 1:I don't think so.
Speaker 1:I don't know it like for your information. You never start a text with for your information. I know I I read as jake, and I was like I started off and I was like I don't know what this is, but it's definitely not going to be good because there is no context in which you can say for your information, and it continues like in a happy manner, and I was like this is not gonna be a pleasant text. It wasn't. But, um, how we resolved it? Uh, we ended up talking in person.
Speaker 2:I came to you.
Speaker 2:It is, sit down, yeah yeah, and then we talked yeah, I felt so disconnected and insecure with our relationship in the misunderstanding and that was just like an added. I already had started feeling disconnected and I think that's a key for people in relationships when you start feeling not connected to the person or you feel like they're not getting you or you're not getting them or whatever. You need to address that, because every little thing after that feels massive and also I was like feeling I don't know left out and just irrelevant. It goes back to that irrelevant issue that I have, where I get really easily tricked by feeling not tricked, triggered, get triggered by feeling irrelevant. So it was a. We had a great conversation, yeah.
Speaker 1:And that, and that's the I think the main thing with anything like that is open, like and honest communication, like, regardless of like and I'm not trying to shield each other's emotions, like in those moments, like just being like. This is honestly what I'm feeling and thinking, so like can we work through that, even though, like this might be upsetting.
Speaker 1:So I think that's important and that's something like, too, that I like have grown to learn, like with Jake is like it, like I, when I'm upset about something like whether it's gonna make him feel good or bad like I'm going to tell him and then we'll work through it, rather than holding on to being upset and then just hoping that something will change yeah by holding.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean because it doesn't ever work, doesn't it never works itself out, and um, not everybody is open for that, though that that's hard because it takes vulnerability on both ends you're right, and um, because I mean I feel that way, like when Jackson's upset with me about something he's very hard to talk to, like he shuts down and doesn't, like freezes me out, and I and I'm like, so I have to text what I'm thinking, because which is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you and you you wouldn't allow me to. You're like, we're going to sit down and Well, I was like I'm not gonna respond.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, I love you, but I will talk to you and I. At first I was like it wasn't yeah no, no, I wasn't like fuck you, like whatever I was. I was more like I read the text and I was like this is gonna upset me if I think about it anymore. And I'm definitely not going to respond over text, because how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking is like you're going to read it and how you're feeling and thinking and that's not how I'm feeling.
Speaker 2:And then there was like a third party that was deciphering things too, and I think that's really dangerous. I think when somebody else is like being a third party, I think that's really dangerous, I think when somebody else is like being a third party.
Speaker 2:Well, another party that was invested in making sure we were all right but were like kind of new, yeah, and I think that's dangerous because you're getting you're not getting the honest feedback from the person and you need the feedback from the person and also you feel even more disconnected when someone else is speaking for your person. You know what I mean. I think that's rough.
Speaker 1:I do think it's important to like pause before having those conversations, though, which, like, that's hard for me because I'm, like I was going to say, I know it's like that. Yeah, that's the abandonment part that I'm like oh my gosh, I got to talk about it right now, which is why I had said I was like I'm not going to respond to this, but I'm not ignoring you Like I would like to revisit this conversation. I just like can't write this.
Speaker 2:It was a very good response. You handled me in a very you didn't. I didn't feel like you didn't want to talk about it or didn't care about it. It was that you were doing it in a healthy way and there was nothing I could push back against because I knew it was logical and rational.
Speaker 2:And Dex and I got into a massive fight when I was there for Thanksgiving. He did the same thing. He's like I mean I was ready, I was like just blow it all up, which is not how I ever, it's not how I ever really feel. An hour later, yeah, and it's rare that I do that, go to that extreme. But I mean my buttons were pushed so I was yeah, I was like this is going to blow up the whole thing. And he was like we can't end our relationship. We're family, you know, over this. He's like we need to sit down and I did not want to and I'm like, but I knew he was right and I'm so glad because we both I mean I instantly apologized for overreacting and then I didn't go in there defensive, like I went in there thinking I don't want to lose my brother and I felt the same way with you. I don't want to lose my relationship with Emily. So that time and space actually helped a lot and yeah, so I think that's a really I think that's just very effective communicating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you need to see people's facial expressions and hear their tone.
Speaker 1:Texting a conversation over text where there's some kind of tension is never a good idea, because you can't hear their tone and so you're interpreting their tone how you're feeling. So if you're feeling upset, then you're interpreting their tone to be that they're like saying something rude or intense or whatever, which, like maybe that is how they're saying it, but most of the time it's not.
Speaker 1:So, like it's important that, like you pause and be like most of the time it's not so like it's important that, like you pause and be like, okay, well, like, how are you actually saying this to me so that I can respond in a manner that matches that energy?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Um, no, I think that I think that's, I think that's helpful. All right, um, and I'm glad that it was worked out. Yeah, yeah, and I have felt great ever since.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:With you and Dex. So, yeah, yeah, I mean Dex and I like our fight was worse than mine and yours because we both like hit below the belt for a little while and that's never good, All right, that's never good, All right. What's one mental health myth.
Speaker 1:You wish more people, especially moms or daughters, would stop believing Mental health myth. Mental health myth. I don't necessarily think this has to do with moms and daughters, but I do think that there's still a stigma around medication.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like that's one thing that I wish. That's where my brain was going to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's where I wish people were more educated on that.
Speaker 2:But I also think I feel like that's going to get worse right now with the current administration. The thing about that, too, is that there are bad doctors that are out there For sure, for sure, like and you need to have. That kind of medication needs to be subscribed by an expert, which is a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and sometimes like even there are shitty psychiatrists.
Speaker 2:So Absolutely, I sometimes like even there are shitty psychiatrists.
Speaker 1:So like I think that that's. I feel like there's two that I'm thinking, like I'm like I feel like people need to like understand medication more, but I also feel like understanding how to choose and like get comfortable, like with a like counselor, like counselor, psychiatrist, whatever like is important, because it's not always just like you see someone and then you're one and done like most of the time.
Speaker 1:It's like dating, like you have to kind of date around for those people to see who is an expert in your specific trauma or like what you're dealing with or like has been working with clients that have similar symptoms and x, y and z.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I totally agree. I think it is like dating and it is like it. It also reminds me of that muscle you have to use when you're, when you're determining if something is accurate, information like fake news, um, it's the same type of deciphering muscle that you have to use because, yeah, I can think of some bad psychiatrists that I'm like, and then also some general practitioners and I'm like you have no business recommending or talking about this because it's a very complicated. It's a complicated process and science. So, especially when you're talking about individuals, like some people, you know, you got some people that go right on the on the track and they're they can start with the first thing you prescribe and they're fine and they're good to go, but that that is probably not that's jake.
Speaker 1:It's like jake and I are literally the complete opposite yeah because, like I, because and he was also prepared for my journey, which is not as like it's like we're both on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Most people fall like kind of in the middle. Like you, you try a couple and then you figure it out and like, okay, like you have some symptoms here and there, you're good to go. But like I'm on the, you and I are on. Like we've tried all every single medication ever and have had all the worst symptoms and have had really crappy psychiatrists and so on and so forth. Jake was like I found my psychiatrist I'm taking this and I works like good to go, so which I was like hallelujah, I felt so grateful that that was what happened.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Because it takes a lot of patience to go through.
Speaker 2:And you're in a position where you don't really have the patience, where you don't have the patience and sometimes, which probably leads to it might be more situational for him, and where it's like an actual chemical imbalance for you and I, and so it's. You know, I think it's different, so, okay, that's a good one, all right. If your relationship had a theme song, what would it be, and why?
Speaker 1:Where you lead, I will follow anywhere that you tell me to. That was immediately what came into my head.
Speaker 2:That's good. I like that Absolutely. What role does humor play in your mental health conversations? Has laughter ever helped you through a tough moment?
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely. One hundred percent. Yeah, I mean that's where, whenever I start, I mean I've told the story about friends, so like that's a huge example for me. But also whenever I started watching like YouTubers when I was younger, that was that was a heavy thing that got me through.
Speaker 1:That's why I was so into going to playlists, like I wanted to meet those people Like, and now what's so cool about that is that I have what like people I have watched are now parents, like they're like they're with their partner and they have kids, like, and I'm like this is so cool that, like I kind of grew up with you and like, yeah, there and there's hope, like look how your life has turned out, yeah and they like were a bright spot in my day where I could just laugh and feel like calm and safe.
Speaker 2:And so yeah, humor, I think, is a I think that's currently helping me right now, because I'm very upset about things and um, and when I get to watch people that are like making fun of some of it, it's like I mean it's hard to believe it's actually real. But it is a relief to be like, okay, I can laugh about it. Yeah, I can laugh about it.
Speaker 1:SNL is helpful for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. That's one of the ones I was thinking of. Yeah, how do you each recharge when you're feeling mentally or emotionally drained, and do you do it differently from one another? Yeah, we definitely do it differently from one another For me. I mean, I need like quiet time, like I need to be away from people and low, like not a lot of sensory things happening, and sometimes that's actually not true. Sometimes, being like just walking in a crowd of people I don't have to respond but I can just be, also helps me. That can really help me too, but it's usually like just getting grounded for myself. Working out is a big one for me. Working out really helps me a lot. Sometimes I just jump on the Peloton. I'm so thankful for the Peloton. I just jump on the Peloton and I'm like okay, I feel better. I already feel better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it depends for me. Like it definitely it depends on where I am in my cycle. That's like a big thing, because I'm like if I'm in my luteal phase, then like I don't want to be around people, I want to like sit on the couch and watch a show and have a comfort food and then like go to bed early. But like when I'm like in my follicular, I'm like I want to go to Pilates, like I want to see my friends, like I want to like be doing something, I want to go outside. So I think it just really depends on, like where I'm at like in my cycle during, like what is going on, like there are different ways that I recharge, because I have noticed that like, even though I am an introvert, because I have noticed that like even though I am an introvert, I have noticed that like in some stages of my cycle, like I'm more, I get more recharged when I am around people. Yeah, me too, and like I didn't used to feel like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me either, but it's definitely. It's definitely true, which is probably why, like it can be deceiving, because I can seem I don't always appear to be introverted or I didn't used to. I think when people knew me when I was younger would probably never have guessed that, um, I feel like I like kind of forced myself, though, to be an extrovert for a yeah, some people say that about me too.
Speaker 1:They're like you're an introvert and I'm like, well, just because I'm like able to be around people doesn't mean that's how I recharge, like so yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, have your views on what if. What it means to be strong changed over time, especially in the context of mental health.
Speaker 1:I don't really think they've changed. I think I've always felt like pretty much like the same around, like strength coming from, like within and being able to like do things when, even when it's hard or when you're scared, and um, yeah, like I, I don't think that I've ever really wavered in like my definition of strength.
Speaker 2:I think for me I definitely have, because I feel like it was a different way of growing up, Like it was more acceptable to to for you to be like it's hard I'm having a hard time, or whatever as far as mental health, but for me growing up it wasn't. It was like put on a happy face and let's talk about the positives and we're not going to talk about the negatives. Even in my own house, with my like, with my grandmother, and I'm like wait a minute, I have some bad things to tell you for the day from the day too. And so I was like I got to talk about these too. And also I think I used to feel like to be strong meant you had to be all together and put it all together and fight through feelings. But I don't think that anymore. I really think real strength comes in being vulnerable, and I think that's actually so much more attractive than putting on a happy face and like acting like you're strong when you're crumbling inside.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we have just a few more. What advice would you give to a mom or daughter who wants to talk more openly about mental health but doesn't know how to start?
Speaker 1:This is gonna sound like I don't know, like it's probably gonna sound weird, but I'm like, just like. So. One thing I actually saw recently on Instagram it was it was this person standing in front of like a subway train. That was like like going by and um, the caption was like um, the longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it becomes to get back to where you're supposed to be going, and I like that really like resonated with me because I'm like it.
Speaker 1:You can always be like oh, like this is not the right time, this is not the right time. There's never going to be. Like just that, like aha, like movie magic kind of moment, like you kind of just have to be like OK, like I'm going to start somewhere, even if it's something small, or sharing something from your day and then easing into it that way. But like, the longer you don't do it, the harder it becomes to do as time goes on. So, like, when I say, like just do it, like that sounds easier said than done, for sure, but like it's, you have to just kind of be like I'm just gonna do it and then go from there yeah, and, and it can even be something as simple as like finding like a counselor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's not like the pressure of the whole thing. I'm finding a counselor. It's like today I'm going to search for three names and make three calls and that's all. I don't have to do anything after that. I don't even have to make an appointment yet. Those are just the three. And then you next day I'm going to make an appointment with one of the three people, or I'm going to search for three more people or whatever.
Speaker 2:Just something that doesn't feel overwhelming. Or I'm going to walk to my mailbox. I'm going to go walk to my mailbox today and and take a first step in that. Or I'm going to listen to a like a headspace. That's an app, that is a meditation app, but they also have counseling on it now. So they have there's, and that makes it very so much like an easy on-ramp as far as like starting something, doing something, because that's just, that's just a little bit of action which moves you forward, and so then you can continue to move forward. It doesn't have to be a big, huge proclamation I'm going to start medication tomorrow, or I'm going to find the best doctor ever tomorrow. It's just one little move of action.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah it's. It's like in the, I mean like even in the analogy of like the subway. It's like I'm just going to get off the wrong train, like yes, no like you don't have to figure out how to get on the right train. Yeah, you don't even need to know what train you're getting on next, just get off the wrong one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's good. I like that a lot. Two more what's one habit or mindset tool that has made the biggest difference in your personal healing journeys? So for me, I guess I have a few Like. One of them is like having, like a mindset coach. That's really helpful for me. Or finding the right counselor. I had the best counselor for years who was life-changing, a life-changing counselor, a life-saving counselor, and I have now worked with some excellent like mindset people and that really helps me too people and that really helped. That helps me too.
Speaker 2:But I think two things that stick out to me the most are like I keep a gratitude journal and and I started it in January of this year again because I was like all right and so every single night I open up my notes app on my phone and it's whatever month I'm on, like I just made a new month for May and May and I write down three things that I'm grateful for for the day and that's all. And it doesn't have to be any like harder than that, and sometimes it's super easy, and I could go on and on and I could list more than three. And then sometimes I'm like I don't know, I can't think of anything. And then I'm like oh, my pillow, and I write down my pillow and my bed and my blankets, all right, um, and that's okay too. Yeah, and so, and then the other thing would for sure has been like exercise, yoga. Yoga is very calming for me and really, um, helps me feel like grounded and centered.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I would. I would agree with like the coaches. Like um, I've had like multiple different kinds of coaches, I mean, and counseling like that has been huge for me. Um, that was like the first thing that I needed. Um, so, like that would, that would be one. Um. I would also say, like right now, like specifically like my routines, like I have like routines at night, like where that I like I'm not on my phone, like I read, like I do a migraine, my migraine treatment thing, like I do legs up the wall, like that's, like I do. That I might have like a specific routine. Um, that I built when I was with my gut health coach. Like, um, like those things are important in my current like self-care routine. Um, when I was in the thick of it, it was definitely counseling regularly um managing my medication.
Speaker 1:That's always so oh yeah, that's number one for me yeah, so, um, I would say stuff like that and also like I mean, practicing affirmations is like a big one affirmations is really a good.
Speaker 2:I need to get back to that. I still use that widget that you told me about. I am, and I do look at that every single day. Now it has a little like streak thing. So you're, you know, yeah, wanting to keep. Yeah, I agree with that um you just retreats.
Speaker 1:I will say I went on like was life-changing, so like finding stuff, like communities. So I guess I would be more like finding communities that like are on like the same, like wavelength, and like this bring that good kind of energy in to my life. Would be that for me too yeah, I think that's good.
Speaker 2:You, I thought of something when you were talking and then it went right out of my head and I thought it was um, important, but now I can't remember what it was. So, um, travel, travel, that is really. That is a really good one for me. That does help me a lot. It kind of resets yeah and um, and I definitely need a periodically need a reset, because I get very like I feel stuck, yeah and I'm and I'm, I'm, I know I'm ready to move like literally to, and I know I'm ready to move like literally too, and so, like that at least keeps like that part of me like it's okay, like it's all right to yeah. I can't think of the other thing I was going to say oh well, all right. The last one is oh, if you could go back and give your younger selves one piece of reassurance, what would it be?
Speaker 1:That's hard. I don't know. I guess it would depend on which version of myself I was talking to. Version of myself I was talking to, um like I always kind of go back to like 17-year-old me, like who like was in the midst of an eating disorder, like I would probably say like, like you're, you're not, you don't have to stay like this. And like, eventually, like you're, you'll love yourself enough to not feel this hate all the time, like you won't have to carry this forever. Um, so like, maybe something like that, but also like I guess also all of the versions like, reminding them that, like you, like you will grow into someone like who will feel safe, like in safety, will, will like be uh, like consistent thing. So like, just keep going like you'll you'll get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so pretty. Yeah, I did remember my other one, so I want to go back to that for a second. It was boundaries, like having boundaries for myself. Yeah, um, that's one thing that I feel like recently I've been practicing, instead of just saying I've been practicing, I know that I need food at certain increments and so, instead of waiting to see if people follow that, I've taken care of it for myself, or knowing that I want a different, some quiet time or whatever, instead of feeling guilty or allowing someone to make like make me feel guilty. I'm like, this is what I, this is how I have to take care of myself. This is the way I can show up for you is if I'm, I'm okay and and I'm not always okay, so I need to make sure that I take care of that. Okay, so my, what I would tell my I would definitely tell my there's like a couple of things. One thing is like get out of my own way, like that's a, that's a huge theme that I and also like, like I need, like I should.
Speaker 2:I wish I could tell my I'm going to say 16-year-old self like to trust my instincts, to actually listen to my body and how my body's responding and where my mind is going and to trust them.
Speaker 2:That probably 90% of the time, like I was right already, I just doubted myself and didn't believe in myself, got in my own way and believed that I wasn't worthy of something better. So and that even makes me think of like me as a mom Like I didn't trust my instincts. I knew there was something wrong with you and you I'm like she seems kind of yellowish and everyone's like, oh no, it's just the color of her skin, and I'm like I don't think so. And then you were full on, jaundiced, and then you were like your eyes were yellow and it was like I knew it, dentist. And then you like your eyes were yellow and it was like I knew it and so I should have just believed. And then there were so many times that I'm like I know they were getting sick or they are starting an ear infection or something, and then it would be like no, no, no, that's fine. And then it wasn't fine. So I just it's really trusting, trusting my instincts is pretty massive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good Well thank you, thank you, I love you for being here to the listeners.
Speaker 2:I love you too. Yes, thank you. Um, sometimes I forget that we're talking to them. Yeah, all right, we'll see you in two weeks.
Speaker 1:All right, sounds good, bye, bye, no-transcript.
