Mind Your Heart
Welcome to "Mind Your Heart," this cozy corner of the internet where Trina Deboree and Emily Reneé —your real-life Lorelei and Rory Gilmore duo—come together each week to chat about everything from mental health to the daily nuances of life. In each episode, we peel back the layers of topics like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and eating disorders with warmth, understanding, and a touch of humor (because otherwise, this just sounds depressing)!
Trina, an educator turned entrepreneur and mental health advocate, joins forces with her daughter Emily, a mental health coach and anorexia survivor, to share their journeys and insights in a way that feels like a heart-to-heart with old friends. The goal? To spark conversations that truly matter and to create a space where laughter meets healing.
Let's navigate the ups and downs of mental health together, making each day brighter and each challenge a little lighter. Grab your emotional support water bottle, put in your headphones, and join us while we mind our hearts for chats that comfort and inspire.
Mind Your Heart
MYH 38: Heart-to-Heart: Seven Questions That Reveal Everything
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What happens when two empaths sit down to answer seven deceptively simple questions about their inner lives? The result is a heartfelt exploration of emotional intelligence that might just change how you approach your next meaningful conversation.
In this uniquely personal episode, we dive into a set of questions designed to reveal what's truly in someone's heart and mind. Originally created for parents wanting deeper connections with their children, we discover these questions work brilliantly for any relationship seeking greater understanding. From "What do you think about when you're quiet?" to "What makes your heart feel happy?", each question peels back layers of our emotional landscape.
The conversation takes a particularly moving turn when we both identify as highly sensitive people, sharing stories of being labeled "too emotional" throughout our lives. We reflect on how society's perception of sensitivity is evolving, challenging the harmful notion that emotional awareness is something to overcome rather than embrace. One particularly powerful anecdote involves creating safe spaces for children to experience emotions in a classroom setting, demonstrating how emotional openness can be nurtured from a young age.
Whether you're seeking to understand yourself better or hoping to connect more deeply with someone you love, these seven questions offer a powerful template for meaningful conversation. Try asking them to someone in your life - their answers might surprise you, and the connection you build might be transformative. After all, the quiet spaces between our thoughts often hold the most profound truths about who we really are.
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Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your favorite corner of the internet where we chat about all things mental health. I'm Emily.
Speaker 2:And I'm Trina. Together, we're like your real-life Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Each week, we'll bring you real conversations about the world of mental health and we will peel back layers on topics like anxiety, depression and much more.
Speaker 1:We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff, the everyday stuff and everything in between. So grab your emotional support water bottle I know we have ours. Find your comfiest chair or keep your eyes on the road and let's get into it. Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Join us as we mind our hearts and hopefully make minding yours a little easier. Hey, hello, hello.
Speaker 1:Oh no, let's not do that.
Speaker 2:So today I thought we would do. I saw this post, I think it was on Instagram. It was seven questions. If you want to really know what's on it, does say your child's mind, Ask them these seven questions. But I think it could be relevant for your friend.
Speaker 1:Well, I am your child.
Speaker 2:Well, you are my child, but I think it could be relevant for people in relationships in general. So I thought we would do them like we did. We've done an episode like this before, but it wasn't these questions, it was something to get to know, I don't know. But it was a lot of questions, but this is only seven, so all right. So here's the first one.
Speaker 1:So is it like you asking me questions or are you going?
Speaker 2:to. I'm going to ask, but I'm going to answer too, Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right. So what do you think about when you're quiet? That's so hard. I feel like that's such a hard question to answer for me, specifically because I'm thinking about everything Like it's not. It's not, like I'm just like sitting down, like, hmm, I'm going to think about one singular thing, like it's like what are we having for dinner? Do we need groceries? Did I clean the bathroom? Is Daisy clean? Do I need to give her a bath? I need to schedule her nail appointment. Oh, I need to get my nails done. Did I schedule my nail appointment? I might be late. My nail appointment might not be available. Do I have that day off? Is it like that's where my mind is going.
Speaker 2:So every you know that's crazy, cause they, they, this is the what they, the reason for that question. It's like this gives you a glimpse into their inner world, their dreams, their fears and everything in between. So that is so. You've got a lot. And if people are like I'm confused, go look back and listen to the last episode, because we gave an update, so that will make a lot more sense in that context.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it depends for me, like, sometimes my brain is like that too, but but, honestly, taking medication for that it helps it, not do that. So so it's not always, but it does. It does go like that. It's like, you know, is that on my calendar? I put that on my calendar. Do I have anything today? What is my thing that I have to do today? But when I can actually get it to be quiet, which is usually in Shavasana after yoga, I am like trying to practice gratitude, like I try to be thankful for the things, that any little thing that made me feel good for the day. And I think about you, I think about Jackson and I think about, like, what I want for my life, like where do I want to be? What do I want to be doing Like those are. That's the kind of stuff that comes into my mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's hard for it to get quiet, which is why when I if they listen to that last episode and they'll know that I went to Ireland, it finally got quiet and I need to be, which is probably why I didn't love London and Paris as much, because I was in a state of mind that deeply needed like soul-soothing quiet, like soul soothing quiet and um, and that that quiet was like a I would. I needed it so desperately because everything just feels like all the time so and being in nature is is very healing for me. Um, okay, so number two, what makes your heart feel really happy?
Speaker 1:um, this is gonna sound cheesy but like just like knowing that like I get to be with Jake like forever, and like just thinking about like how lucky I am to have fallen in love with someone who is so kind and good and loving and safe, and like just like my person, just like I don't know, like that like just makes like my heart happy. Um, the people around me like that I love, but also like sometimes when I think about daisy and tebow, like I love them so much that my heart like hurts. I like look at them and I'm like you can't die, like you have to live forever because I just love them so much.
Speaker 2:But yeah, that's very sweet, yeah, um. Well, that makes my heart happy hearing that, um, and also knowing that it's not like I think okay, job, my job is done, goodbye, um, when it comes to you. But I do feel like she's, she's all set, she's good, um, that that's. That's a really good feeling. It's also a weird feeling, because then you're like oh, what do I do now? Um?
Speaker 1:well, the job is not done.
Speaker 2:All right um no open applications, still a present job that is needed, all right, that's good, um, but I think what makes my heart happy, I mean you guys and you being happy for sure, and you know, family friends, kobe, travel, travel definitely makes my heart happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, kobe.
Speaker 2:Kobe. Kobe definitely makes me happy. I don't even know what I would do without him. Yeah, being outside moving, moving my body, makes me happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 2:I don't necessarily love lifting weights. I do it because I know it's good for my bones.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Most importantly for my bones, yeah, and your metabolism and all that stuff. But any other kind of moving, like yoga, like all the Peloton, like that does make me happy. I do, that does feel good. When I can help someone, that makes me happy too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that one.
Speaker 2:That makes me feel useful, relevant, relevant, yeah, okay, okay. This is supposed to help you understand what lights them up and how to bring more of that into their life.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would also say, like creative things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like doing creative things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for both of us. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes, all right. Number three, if everyone could know one thing about you, what would it be?
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I think that probably that I'm like deeply empathetic, like that, like I care, just like really really intensely and like I feel really intensely, like I'm definitely like a highly sensitive person and that like comes with being like an empath um that I can like feel, like I can understand energy and like body language and all of that like is encompassed in like being deeply empathetic. Like I feel like that's probably like the best. Like if nobody, somebody didn't know me at all, and I said that like that would probably like the best. Like if nobody, if somebody didn't know me at all, and I said that like that would give them the most information that it could give them with only one sentence about me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's true. That's good. I would say the same thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I would say the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. It's gotten that people are more open and honest about it and also it's not looked at as a negative.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because when I was growing up, and even when I was younger, you know, it was like you're too sensitive, you're so sensitive. Yeah Well, she's really sensitive and she's very emotional. I mean, I actually had somebody tell me once that they weren't going to pick me for their child's teacher because I was too emotional and they wanted my recommendation for another person, oh yeah, and which I was like I can tell you.
Speaker 1:You, all right. What's wrong?
Speaker 2:nothing. Oh, we can finish. Um, do you want to pause? No, okay, anyway. Um, yeah, this has nothing to do with that. That is not. Yeah, it has nothing to do with that. That doesn't have. Yeah, it has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, anyway, I was like okay, I actually think it's okay for kids to see emotion and that they can learn so much from it helps them to understand how to regulate their own emotions, because when you're that young, you all of your emotions feel so big yeah, you don't know how to. I mean like when you're told you're too sensitive, then you think that you shouldn't be feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when there's something wrong with you.
Speaker 1:You're gonna feel them, regardless. It's just.
Speaker 2:You're just either teaching then you're trying to hide it or not yeah, and you're trying to keep it to yourself and trying to pretend like you're somebody else, which I mean I have done so, yeah, that's not really very fair either. I remember in 11th grade we were watching the science video and they were talking about these baby seals clubbing these baby seals, and they were actually showing it and I was yeah, I just burst into tears and I was like I can't watch it. I was so upset. I was so upsetting and everyone in the class was like laughing at me and making fun of me, and it didn't ruin me Like I had a lot of friends in high school, so luckily it didn't become like you know what I mean. Which is dumb, it's dumb, so I could kind of defend it because I did have a little more clout or whatever. You know what I mean. Which is dumb, it's dumb, so I could kind of defend it because I did have a little more clout or whatever. You know what I mean. It was like whatever.
Speaker 2:But I remember feeling like, oh, I can't share that with people, but it was terrible. I'm like how are you not crying? Like, how is everyone in the room not crying? Which is one thing that I loved about teaching, because I would share these books, these emotional books, and I would just have boys and girls openly crying in front of me and feeling emotional and I was like, yes, this is evoking emotion and, first of all, this is a great example of writing when it evokes emotion like this. And, secondly, it's important for us to feel feelings and this is how we learn to have empathy. And knowing that, 10 years from that moment, that some of those boys were never going to feel like they could do that again, and but in that moment they could. So, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:So, and this one, I don't remember what that question was.
Speaker 2:If everyone could know one thing about you, what would it be? I know this is supposed to let them feel seen for who they really are, beyond what meets the eye so that's cool. Um number four. What's something you'd love to learn more about?
Speaker 1:um, I mean the things that I'm trying to learn about, like for my future, like business and stuff, like I was thinking that when you, yeah, yeah, like about like the floral industry, about building a brick and mortar business, about, um, like those kinds of things are things that I would like to learn about. Um, I always think, like I'm always wanting to learn about myself, so that's always something that I would say too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would. I didn't. That didn't come to my mind, but I do think that's important. What did come to my mind is interesting. It was more about like AI and and how to like, how that looks for, even for students in the current time and into the future. So that sounds like very fascinating to me. So, yeah, and that's a powerful way to spark curiosity and support their passions. Nice Number five. What's something you think you're good at?
Speaker 1:Nice Number five. What's something you think you're good at? Um, that sounds so egotistical, but I'll be like I'm good at a lot of things. Um, I feel like. Um, I feel like I'm good at marketing, like I I think I know like how to do it and I'm good at it. Um, I think I'm good at like like design, like in the whether it's like has to do with like designing a room or designing a graphic, or like laying out like a photo shoot idea or like stuff, like design. Just in general, I think I have like a good eye for that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd probably say that yeah, why say yes, I agree, it's all that. Also, you're really good at listening and giving people advice. I think you're really good at that thank you I think that's funny that you are like I've got so many things, and me I'm like what am I good at Really?
Speaker 1:Because I'm like I could think of a lot of things for you too.
Speaker 2:I guess the first thing that comes to my mind is like getting kids to love reading and thinking and to feel better about themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's as far as it really kind of goes oh, I think, like overarching, like you're good at teaching and like not just like teaching like in a classroom, but like teaching like other people, teaching other business owners, teaching kids, teaching me, teaching like just like you have, like a good, like you're. I don't think like teaching is easy. Like I think, in order to be a good, like quality teacher, like you need a lot of patience and you need like to be able to have a willingness to learn yourself, and so I think like teaching sounds like just like a simple answer, but I feel like it's so, like it's much deeper when it comes to like how you teach is like how I wish everybody would teach. Um, so I think that is something.
Speaker 1:Building you're really good at building stuff. Why are you laughing? You literally like half of my living room furniture was built by you and I get compliments on it all the time. So stuff like that Like you put together a barn door, the shelves behind you you built, like the ship lab wall is also from you Like those are things that you're good at. You're good at caring for people and animals I love animals yeah, me too um well, thank you.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's supposed to give them a chance to celebrate their own strengths without shame or comparison. I like that number six. Is there something new you'd like to try but haven't yet? You kind of said, you kind of alluded to that already yeah, yeah, like opening a brick and mortar business.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I haven't done that yet, but I also would say like, um, in a little bit less of like a business mindset, I would like to like visit new places, like I would like to like try different foods in different countries and like meet different people, like that kind of stuff, like explore different cultures I like that.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna say that I'm gonna steal that answer okay definitely, I definitely want that, yeah, and maybe even like physical things, I would say that maybe there are some physical things I would like to try that I haven't Like what I don't know Like, maybe like a Tough Mudder or something like that.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:I think I'm getting too old. I don't think so.
Speaker 1:I don't think we can be too old.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm not really a runner anymore. Yeah, Okay, this helps people, our kids or whoever explore goals, dreams and possibilities. I would actually like to remodel a house. That's what I would really like to do you'd be good at that I think that would be very fun. All right, and the last one number seven. What's your favorite memory with our family?
Speaker 1:um, well, my favorite memory with you would be when we went to New York like for the first time. I just love that. Like everything about that was just like magic and like special and exciting and it just like it was like everything I ever dreamed of, plus them, and like to experience like that together was just like so fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that too. That's definitely one of my favorites. It felt like we were like two girls living in New York.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got to do like New York, the exact way that we both wanted to do it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I didn't feel I also didn't have any. I didn't have expectations. It was all about like, what's going to make you happy too, because I had experienced it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'd been.
Speaker 2:So it was yeah, I loved it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was good. Yeah, Loved it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was good yeah.
Speaker 1:And that was supposed to be, because there are the moments that shape their hearts and yours too, nice I like those questions, I know, aren't they good?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so who posted that? The positive parenting people? Cool Shout out Yep, shout out to them. All right, well, that wraps up another episode.
Speaker 1:We'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye, bye.
